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“Stop,” Master says. No, not Master. Someone else. Someone familiar, but still new. The voice is warm. Steady. American. “Stop, little one. You’ll hurt yourself. Please stop.”
I shake my head, confusion marring my thoughts. Even though I know I’ll probably make things worse, I have to try, have to beg, “Please. Please don’t kill me.”
Chapter Twelve
Jake
I tighten my hold on the boy jerking in my arms, keeping his hands pinned to ensure his angry fingers can’t claw at his skin again. He’s desperate. Distraught. He’s asking me over and over again to please, please stop. Please don’t kill him.
“You’re okay,” I say as firmly as I can. I want to call his name, but I think maybe that’d just make things worse. “It’s okay, little one. Come back to me. Please come back to me. You’re safe. I’ve got you. You’re safe.”
"Please," the boy sobs, his body trembling in my arms. "Please. I can't - not again. Anything else. Please, Master. Anything."
"Hey." I shake the boy a little, freaked out by his wide-open eyes that don't seem to be seeing me at all. "Come back to me right now.”
My movement causes my back to stop shielding him from the water, some of it splashing onto his face. If I thought he was upset before, that was nothing. He writhes so violently that he breaks out of my hold and lands hard on the wet tile, a shriek ripping its way from his throat.
The water. Something about the water is triggering him.
I hurry to shut the water off before scooping the boy up in my arms and carrying him to the bed, grabbing a towel off the warmer as I go. I wrap him up tight and cradle him in my lap, not caring that we're both soaked. I'm just thankful he’s relaxed back to where he was before the water hit his face, even if that is still a pretty shitty place for him to be.
“Hey, little one. It’s over, okay? It’s all over. The water is gone. You’re safe now. I have you. Can you hear me, baby boy?”
His fingers flex where they’ve come to rest on my bicep. “M-Master DuGray?”
“No. DuGray is gone. You’re with me now, remember? You’re not his, you’re mine.”
The boy presses harder against me, his body still shaking. I rub my hand up and down his towel-covered back as I wait for him to reorient himself. It takes him a minute, but then he rears his head back and blinks owlishly at me. It’s one of the rare times he lets me have eye contact with him. I hope one day I’ll get that without having to order him or have him in the middle of a mental breakdown first.
“I-” He pauses, squeezing his eyes shut as if he’s in pain. His voice is thick with emotion when he tries again. “I’m so sorry, Master. I - I didn’t mean to…”
“To be triggered into a flashback and have a violent panic attack?” I smile softly, wishing he’d look at me again. “No one ever means to do that, little one. It just happens. I'm not upset. You’re okay.”
The boy sniffles and lifts a fist to rub at his eyes. It’s adorable and heart-wrenching, and all I want to do is say fuck the party and stay here all night holding him. But I can’t. I have a job to do.
Just as I’m about to ease him off my lap and force myself to get ready, he starts talking.
“He waterboarded me. I - I promise, I wasn't bad. I was good. But he - he liked to play games. That was one of them." He quickly opens his eyes then, the blue flashing with panic. "Not that I'm complaining, Master. I - I'm just a slave. I was there to entertain him. I w-was thankful that he gave me the opportunity-"
"Stop," I beg, unable to listen to that bullshit. "Your last master was a fucking asshole. I'm not like him. No games. No… any of it."
Casey turns his gaze to the floor, eyebrows pulling in. "No… sex."
"Yes," I say softly, knowing this is the worst fucking time to be having this conversation. I’m going to be late. And I judged Travis for always getting sidetracked…
"W-why am I here then, Master?"
I can't help but feel unbelievably proud of the boy for being brave enough to ask that, even as I realize how inconvenient the question is. I can't tell him the truth yet. Which means I have to lie.
Though… it's not entirely a lie when I admit, "I want your company. I'm… lonely."
I nearly cringe hearing the words out loud, but then Casey quickly lifts his chin to look at me with an open, soft expression and it feels worth it. "Really?"
"Yes. I work far more than I should and in this line of work, it's hard to find someone that can be trusted. This is… simpler."
Something sparks in Casey's eyes, something almost like anger, but then the boy drops his chin. "I'm happy to be your companion, Master."
No, you aren't. But I'm sure glad to see that spark in you, little one.
