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I curve my hand around the nape of his neck, thumb stroking the messy hair back there. His breath smells like my toothpaste. I want to taste it. Taste him.
"You're such a good boy," I whisper, needing him to hear it. Needing to say it after the night I've had. "So, so good."
He shivers, a small whimper catching in his throat.
And then he leans forward and presses his lips to mine.
I don't know if it's the tequila or the chocolate or the lingering echoes of that slave's sobs. I don't know if it's because I'm telling him the truth tomorrow, or because he's let me be the closest thing to a daddy I've ever been, or because he just might be the most beautiful boy I've ever seen. All I know is that I kiss him back.
For one agonizing, beautiful, horrifying moment - I fucking kiss him back.
And then I force myself to pull away, nearly falling off the bed. My heart pounds hard enough to make my chest ache.
Fuck.
Fuck, I shouldn't have done that.
“J-Jake?” he whispers, his hand coming up to touch his lips.
"It's okay." I'm not sure who the reassurance is even meant for, me or him. "We should go to bed. It's - uh. It's late. It's been a long day."
"Are you angry?"
It kills me how hard his voice shakes with the question. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
"No, little one. I'm not angry." I cup his cheek, promising myself I won't kiss him again even though it's what I want more than anything. "It was very nice. Thank you."
"I just - I want you to be happy," he whispers. "I'm supposed to make you happy."
There it is.
Any enjoyment I was able to get out of that kiss evaporates immediately. I drop my hand, sitting back. My stomach turns.
"I'm going to shower." I slide off the bed. "Go back to sleep."
After managing to sneak out of the bedroom without Casey waking up, getting dressed in the hallway like an idiot, I spend the day doing everything and anything besides thinking about him and that fucking kiss. It works for a while. There's a lot to do now that Travis convinced Vasco to work with us. We need to facilitate a coup in Mexico, so we have control over the one and only area left to obtain. Once that's handled, we'll have everything we need to take down the entire network. To end this operation once and for all.
But eventually I have to face reality. Travis and I need to travel to Mexico, which means Casey and Carter will be on their own for at least 2 days. It's time to tell Casey the truth.
I really shouldn't have kissed him back.
After warning Travis that I'm going to tell Casey, I pack up my shit and head to the bedroom.
He's kneeling when I walk in. Of course, he is. He's probably more confused than ever after last night. Me telling him to call me Jake, touching him the way I did, kissing him, him admitting he wants to make me happy because it's what he's supposed to do and me disappearing into the shower like a coward. He'll probably give me a fucking earful once he knows the truth. I'll be deserving of it.
I put my things down just inside the door and walk to him. After a moment's hesitation, I decide to kneel too. He startles at the move before settling back into the perfect kneeling position.
"Look at me, little one." I'm rewarded with those pretty blue eyes, but I hate the emotions swirling in them. "I have to tell you something. It's… big. Overwhelming. You might get mad at me, and you're allowed to. You'll probably have questions, and you're allowed to ask as many as you'd like. The only thing you can't do is yell, okay? It's dangerous if others hear us. No yelling, promise?"
He looks like he's going to be sick, but he nods.
"You remember Carter, yes?" He flinches, his eyes going wide. He doesn't answer, just stares at me in pure terror, which I suppose is legitimate considering the last time he acknowledged Carter's existence he was nearly tortured to death. "Carter's brother is friends with Carter's owner and me. We all work on a team together. An undercover team. Deep undercover. Like CIA but… different. Less rules. Long-term assignments. I’ve been pretending to be this person for nearly 10 years now. Carter’s owner, too."
He just blinks at me.
"Our team is working on taking this region of the slave trade down. That’s why Carter got taken, as retaliation for his brother. We bought him to keep him safe. When Carter found out the truth, he begged us to save you too. That's why I came and got you. Why I haven't touched-" except that's not true anymore, is it? Fuck. "-why I haven't fucked you or hurt you. I’m not really one of them. I’m an operative. Hell, I’m an grumpy Army vet, not some rich asshole who sees people as slaves. This is all just an act."
He stares at me. He doesn't even blink this time. Just stares.
