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“It’s a fine line, Slade.”
“What choice do I have? You said it yourself,” he snaps back, moving to the chair and grabbing his jacket from the back of it. And now I feel like shit.
“You want me to come with you?”
He thinks it over for a second. “No, stay with her. I’ll text you if I need you.”
“Alright. Look, I know you feel like crap right now, but it’s for the best. We can sit down with her and explain. She might not like it, but she’ll understand.”
“Yeah, sure she will,” he murmurs before heading out and closing the door behind him without a backward glance.
I wander over to the window and stare outside, contemplating where to go from here. I feel caught in limbo. I’ve been waiting for Slade to catch feelings for Astrid, and now that it’s clear he has, I’m wondering where I fit in. It’s not her body I’m worried about. I know he seems happy to share that with me. But what about her heart and all the other things that make Astrid who she is?
The little peek she gave him about her life before makes me wonder if she is separating us into two sides. Does she feel the same way for me that she does for Slade? Or am I just the bonus she gets for fucking Slade?
I grab Slade’s beer from the coffee table and down it. She hasn’t been standoffish with me—at least not since the beginning. I’ve never felt like she wants me to fuck off when Slade is around, either. But not once has she pushed for more or opened up to me like she did with Slade. Is she keeping her distance because she doesn’t want me like that, or has she picked up on the fact that I’ve been holding back?
“What a clusterfuck,” I grumble, rubbing my hand down my face, knowing I created this damn mess myself. If I keep one foot out of this relationship, can I complain that she’s holding back too?
I take the empty beer bottle and toss it in the trash before making my way to the bedroom. I stand in the doorway and watch her sleep. She’s tucked into a ball, almost protecting herself, something I note she doesn’t do when she sleeps beside me and Slade.
Testing that theory, I slip off my T-shirt, wanting to feel her skin against mine. I climb onto the bed beside her and maneuver her so I can slide my arm underneath her. As soon as I do, she rolls into me, her hand sliding over my chest as she lifts her head and opens her eyes a little.
“Jagger?”
“Shh, I just want to hold you for a little while. Go back to sleep.”
She doesn’t argue with me. She lays her head on my chest, her white hair fanning out over my skin as she lets out a sigh of contentment. If her actions are anything to go by, the problem is me. When she’s not awake and sensing my distance, she doesn’t hold back. She’s open to me without feeling the need to protect herself. I need to give her a reason to take the leap and give me a chance.
I need her to know I won’t let her fall in vain.
When I was fifteen, my father died. I stepped into his role as family protector and provider for my mom and two sisters. We lived in a trailer park, and money was always tight until I enlisted and could send more home to them. It’s been ingrained in me to put others before myself. But since Astrid came along, I find myself wanting to be more and more selfish.
I must drift off because the sound of my phone chiming with a message, followed by another one right on its heels, has me opening my eyes. Looking outside, I see it’s still light, so I couldn’t have been sleeping for long. I turn to the clock, but it flashes. I guess the power must have gone out at some point.
I ease out from under Astrid, who is still dead to the world, and climb off the bed, grabbing my T-shirt on the way out and putting it on. I pull out my phone from my pocket as I walk down the hall, checking the time. It’s only three p.m.? Fuck, it feels later than that. I’m not usually one for napping, so I guess that’s thrown me off. Though, I don’t regret the hour spent alone lying with Astrid in my arms.
I see two messages from Slade and tap on his name.
Come over.
Leave Astrid there.
I frown as I read the second one, glad she isn’t awake so I don’t have to make an excuse. I slip my boots on and lace them up before opening the door and closing it quietly behind me. It’s warm outside but overcast, making me wonder if we might get some rain later.
I’m so lost in my own world that when I open the door to the main house, I don’t pick up on the atmosphere right away. Not until I realize it’s completely silent and all eyes are on me.
“I take it Slade filled you in. It’s messed up, I know.”
I move to the table where the others are sitting. All except E, who is standing at the island looking a little pale, and Salem, who is nowhere to be seen.
“She’s napping right now, thank God,” Zig answers, reading my unasked question.
“Did Astrid say anything to you since I’ve been gone?” Slade questions.
“No, she’s still asleep. Why?”
Slade looks at me with an expression I’ve seen too many times before. Pure lethal rage.
