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“What do you mean, what do I want to do? I want to go get our girl.”
“I’m not being a dick here. I’m just asking. We need to be all in or all out. I’m not disrupting this woman’s life anymore unless we’re keeping her.”
I turn the key in the ignition, letting Slade think about that as I pull out of the parking lot. We could go home now and stay there. We could let Astrid get on with her life and learn from our mistakes so we don’t fuck up if we’re lucky enough to find someone again. But that someone won’t be Astrid. I picture her with another man and a kid on her hip, and I grip the steering wheel tightly, wanting to punch my hand through the windshield.
“Between us, we have so many fucking regrets. I don’t want Astrid to be one more,” I admit.
“She’s that girl. You know when you hear people talking shit about the one that got away? That’s Astrid. She’ll be the woman we measure all others against.”
I look over at him and see the determined set of his jaw.
“If we go all in, I won’t hold back anymore,” I warn him. He hasn’t said anything, but I know he’s noticed.
“We’ll have to earn her trust back. It won’t be easy, and she’ll fight us every step of the way.”
“Don’t tease me with a good time, Jagger.”
I laugh, and he joins in, the sound lighter than I’ve heard from him in years.
“So, we’re doing this?”
“Fuck yes. First, though, I think we need to plan shit out. Let her think she’s safe from us.”
I nod. “Alright. What are we going to do about the others, though? It’s not just us that let her down. We all did.”
“They’ll have to fix that damage themselves. I want her to be happy here with us. But, Jagger, if she can’t find it here, then we need to decide what we’re willing to give up. I owe the guys everything. This is the only place that’s ever been home to me. But for Astrid, I’ll walk away. I just didn’t know I’d follow her until she was gone.”
The last thing I want to do is leave Apex. Like with Slade, these guys are my family. But we can’t expect Astrid to make all the sacrifices here.We don’t know much about her life, but she doesn’t hide that she’s taken a few hits and has had to heal alone. It’s time someone stepped in front of her and took the blows.
It’s time we stepped up and put her first.
“I meant it when I said I was all in. I want her here. I want to give the others a chance to apologize and get to know her. But if she can’t find happiness here after what we all did, then we go wherever she feels safe.”
“Deal.”
When we pull up to the house, Greg is waiting outside.
“You didn’t find her?” He looks in the back seat as he asks, already knowing the answer.
“No, but we have a rough idea where she’s heading. Can we use the plane? Once Ev has a lock on her, we want to head out.”
Greg looks between Slade and me, crossing his arms over his chest. “It’s going to take more than some sweet-talking to win her over.”
“I know.”
He looks at us for a few minutes, and I feel like everything hinges on what he says next.
“Fine. Take the plane. You can call when you need it to return. I’ll give you some time to sort your shit out.”
“Thanks, G.” Slade nods at him and goes to leave, but stops when Greg holds up his hand.
“Some scars run deep. What we did—what you did—marked her. You know that. But it hits differently when you leave that mark on scar tissue that’s already been damaged.”
“We fucked up, we know. We’re going to make it right.”
“I hope so, boys. I really do because I’d hate for you to be the thing that finally breaks her.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
