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Astrid
I sign off on the changes before sending the email, excited that at least the game is all done now. Thank goodness all the promotion and shit falls to someone else because I feel like I could sleep for a year.
Standing up, I stretch my arms above my head, wincing when my back cracks from sitting in one position for so long. My new cell phone starts vibrating across the table, so I reach for it, blowing out a breath when I see it’s Mandy. I’m tempted to ignore it. But she’ll only come over, and it’s much harder to get rid of her then.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“The annual fundraiser is in two weeks. Your parents’ absence will be noticed, so you need to go.”
“I’m not going, Mandy, and you know why. Someone will recognize me, then the press will be all up in my shit again. I’ve had enough of dealing with the media vultures to last a lifetime.”
“People will ask questions, Astrid. It’s been years—” she presses, but I interrupt her.
“Well, then maybe it’s time to tell them the truth.”
“And risk everything else coming out?” She sounds horrified.
I pinch the bridge of my nose and walk over to the glass doors, gazing out at the inviting pool. “I don’t care. I’m not a child anymore. There is nothing these people can do or say that will be worse than what’s already been said and done.”
“You say that now, but we both know that’s not true. Last time, it was a gun. Next time, it might be a cocktail of prescription drugs. Your age might have changed, but mentally, you didn’t. You’ll always be a victim of your circumstances, which is why it will be easier to deal with the fallout if we steer the direction in which it topples.”
“As always, your compassion astounds me, Mandy. But last time I checked, you worked for me. Oh, I know you were brought on by my parents, but I’ve been paying your fees since I turned twenty-one.”
She doesn’t say anything, but her snort sounds every inch as condescending as her voice usually is. For years, this woman has treated me like something she would scrape off the bottom of her Louboutins, and I let her. After all, she has been the one constant in my life. But my loyalty to her is built on my guilt and gratitude. Gratitude that was twisted in my brain as a child to make me feel like I owed her. Lord knows she cultivated that feeling so she could bend me to her will. Maybe if the last few weeks hadn’t happened, I’d have let her get away with it, like I always have.
But something in me has changed. I can’t say it’s because I’m being overly emotional. If anything, I feel numb. My whole life feels like a fucked-up game of Jenga, but instead of building a tower out of bricks, we built one from lies. Each day, the lies shift as we pull them out and move them to fit while we wait for the whole thing to come tumbling down. Well, fuck that, and fuck her. I’m ready to kick the tower over.
“You have my answer, and now I have to go. I have a meeting.” I hang up without saying goodbye and dial another number.
“Hello, is this Detective Allan?”
“Astrid?”
I swallow down a lump in my throat and drop to my knees, letting my tears flow down my face. I haven’t spoken to this man since the day I turned eighteen. The fact that he still has me programmed into his phone shouldn’t make me feel this raw inside, but it does. For a girl who has been forgotten about for everything but the chaos swirling around her, it means everything.
“Yeah.” I cough to clear my throat when my voice comes out barely above a croak. “Yes, it’s me.”
He exhales loudly. “Jesus, it’s so good to hear your voice. I think about you a lot.”
I smile through my tears, swiping at them with my free hand as I tuck my knees up under my chest. “I just wanted to say thank you. I don’t know if I ever told you that before.”
“You told me. But there was nothing you needed to thank me for. Are you okay, honey?”
I nod, even though he can’t see me. “I will be.”
“Want to talk about it?”
I laugh, remembering another place and another time when he said those exact same words to me. I told him my biggest fears and my darkest secrets, and he didn’t run away. He didn’t tell the world, and he sure as hell didn’t treat me like some kind of freak afterward. In fact, he risked his job and his family for me. I’m not sure I’ve ever trusted anyone more in my life, and the only thing he asked in return was for me to be happy.
“Well, it started like this…” I tell him everything that’s happened to me over the last couple of months, skimming over Salem and her gift and leaving out everyone’s names. They pride themselves on their privacy, and I won’t invade that just because of the way they treated me.
Stooping to someone else’s level won’t make me feel better. Taking the high road sucks sometimes, but at least the view is better from up here.
“Holy shit, you don’t do things half-assed, do you?” I hear a screen door opening and closing behind him before I hear the creak of a swing.
“Okay, well, I’m guessing you want some help figuring it all out?”
“Yes, but I have something else I want to talk to you about too.”
