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“Jackass. Can you imagine what the world would be like if women treated men the same way they treated us?”
I huff out a laugh at the thought and grab her empty glass. “You want another?”
“I’m good. I can only drink so much water before it goes through me.” She leans closer, making sure nobody is listening. “I told the guys I need to sign some paperwork for the center at eleven, so they know we need to leave once they’re finished in there.”
“I’ll be ready.”
My cell chimes, so I pull it out and glance at the screen. Two texts from Rex and one from Nico asking if I’m okay and if we can talk. I ignore them for now. It’s hard to make plans when I don’t know what might be expected of me, but I do need to find some time today to sit down and tell them about my prospecting. That will be a fun conversation.
“I managed to get an appointment at the doctor for twelve-thirty. That should give us enough time, right?”
“Yeah, that should be fine. That was quick, though.”
“Last-minute cancelation.”
“Nice. How are you feeling this morning?”
“Good. Still a little shocked. A month ago, I felt like my life was in a tailspin, and I was struggling to hold on. And now I know what Dorothy felt like when she crash-landed in Oz. Everything is different, but I’m beginning to understand that different isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes change is good for the soul.”
“Anytime you want to borrow Toto to play out that fantasy, you let me know.” I chuckle, walking away to finish up the rest of the tables.
I’ve just finished unloading and reloading the dishwasher when church ends, and everyone spills out. From the looks cast my way, I know Scope’s told them about my history. I keep my eye on my task, not wanting to see anyone pity me.
It’s been ten years, and though my grief never lessened, I grew strong enough to withstand it. For the first few months after it happened, I was in a fog. Pain and grief were my only companions. But as time passed and my body healed, I realized I was doing all the people I’d lost a disservice. I spent so long trying to forget what happened that it affected all my memories. Like photographs that fade and distort over time, I was beginning to struggle to remember the little details—like the way my father’s eyes crinkled when he smiled or the crooked grin my mother gave when she was trying to hold back her laughter.
While trying to erase all the bad memories, I inadvertently erased the good ones too. That was when I finally gave in and let myself truly mourn them. I opened myself up to it all and let myself feel everything, even though each memory was like a bullet to the heart.
Now, when I think back, I don’t just think of the day I lost them. I think of the fifteen years I had them, and it helps to weave light through the darkest of my thoughts.
“Earth to Jinx.”
I jolt at the sound of Eightball’s voice, placing my hand over my heart. “Jesus, warn a girl next time.”
“I called your name three times.”
“Oh. Sorry. I was in my own little world. You want that beer now?”
“Yeah, we’ll all take one. How long until you’re done here?”
“I have no idea. I’m on Mercy duty until tonight. But as far as I know, I’m free after that. I need to try catching up with Rex and Nico, though. They don’t know about the whole prospect thing, so I need to break it to them as gently as possible.”
A look of guilt crosses his face, making me frown. “What’s wrong?”
When he doesn’t answer, I start sifting through what I said before growling. “You told Rex and Nico, didn’t you?”
“We were worried.”
“Fuck you. You told them, hoping they would talk me out of it. But you see, Rex and Nico wouldn’t do that no matter how they felt because they support me no matter what.”
I grab the beers and slam one down in front of him before walking over to Knight and Splinter’s table. Slamming the bottles down, I turn and walk away without a word.
“Whoa, hey, what’s going on?” Splinter asks, grabbing my arm.
I yank it free before glaring at him. “I don’t take kindly to people going behind my back.”
“What are you talking about?”
“She knows we spoke to Rex and Nico,” Eightball says as he approaches.
