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“Seems like it. We should go before she changes her mind.”
“Would have been easier if we stayed here.”
“Easier for us, but remember what she said about being vulnerable. When she can’t run and feels like she’s at her weakest. Here, she’d be surrounded by a bunch of men she doesn’t know. Some who are still pissed at how things went down,” Eightball says as he looks at the door Jinx just left through.
“Shit. It makes me nervous just thinking about it. Is this what it’s like for her all the fucking time?”
“This is what it’s like for most women. It’s just Jinx has it a little rougher than most. We’re going to get one shot at this. I don’t think she has many positive experiences with men, judging from what she’s saying. At least with men who know about her disability. Even if what I’m feeling fades out, I don’t ever want to be something she regrets.” No. I think Jinx has enough regrets to last a lifetime. I’ll be damned if I’m one of them.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Jinx
“What am I doing?”
Toto lifts his head before lying back down. I check the rearview mirror and see the three bikes following behind me. Part of me hopes they change their minds and turn off, but another part has anticipation humming through my veins.
“What’s the worst that can happen?”
Jesus, I’m going to puke. This is a stupid, reckless idea. I don’t bring men home with me anymore, and I sure as hell don’t bring them home by the multiple. I still can’t help but feel this is all an elaborate hoax and payback for what I did to Scooter. But there was no denying Knight’s hard cock.
The last few times I’ve had sex were similar to what I experienced with Eightball: me bent over a table or a bathroom sink somewhere with my pants still on, hiding the bottom half of me. The fewer questions asked, the better.
Knowing that each of the guys is well aware of what I’m working with—or without—and seeing them still want me feels as amazing as it does terrifying. Right now, with my blades on, wearing a bulletproof vest with a bullet hole in it, and a gun belt, I’m Jinx, the badass bitch who gives zero fucks and who can hold her own against anyone.
But when the blades and weapons come off, I feel more like Ophelia, the girl who had her family and parts of herself stripped away in a single act of violence. Trauma doesn’t care how badass you are. It can make the strongest mind crumble if you let it.
And that’s why I’m doing this. Because I told myself a long time ago that I would never give in to fear. I refused to let it hold me back. I lost a lot, but I still have the spirit of an MC in my soul.
I pull into my driveway and wait for my garage door to open before driving in. The garage is huge—way too big for just me—but it leaves plenty of space for the three approaching bikes.
I climb out of the car, holding onto the door. Getting shot has taken more out of me than I realized. What I should be doing is chilling on the sofa with a pint of ice cream instead of participating in a night of strenuous activities, but when have I ever listened to reason?
I close my door and lean against it, motioning for them to ride straight in. Once they’ve parked, I lean in the window of the car and hit the garage door remote to close us in. Butterflies take flight in my stomach as I open the back door for Toto to jump out.
Eightball whistles as his eyes rove over my bike in the far corner. “This is a nice garage.”
“It’s a little much for just me, but as you can see, sometimes it comes in handy.”
I cluck my tongue for Toto to follow me and let us all inside the house. I flick the lights on as we enter and spill into the kitchen. Toto walks over to his food bowl and starts digging in.
“Anyone want a drink?”
“Sure, I’ll take a beer if you’ve got some,” Knight says.
“Same for us,” Splinter agrees.
I walk over to the fridge and pull out three bottles of Bud before digging in the drawer for a bottle opener and popping the tops. “I’ve always got beer in the fridge. I think Rex and Nico would disown me otherwise.”
“Sounds like you’re close.”
“They’re the annoying brothers I never knew I needed. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for them.”
“We get it. Nothing quite like having a brother at your back.” Eightball takes one of the beers, his eyes moving over me.
I nod. This is definitely not the time to tell them how Rex and Nico literally saved my life.
I turn and reach up to grab a glass from the cupboard and wince.
