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“Easy, Nox,” Nelson said distractedly. He had turned off the headlights and had pulled around the side of the cottage so they were out of sight from the road. “Don’t put any hexes on him. Not until he’s been charged and tried for his crimes, at least.”
“I wouldn’t darken my soul like that for him. I’d rather use my magick for good. It feels better.” Nox didn’t feel good as he turned in his seat and looked around them. “I usually like cemeteries because they’re where we commune with those we love but can no longer see. Grief is the heaviest, hardest love, and boy, does it linger.” Nox touched the window by his cheek, absorbing the coolness from the glass and feeling for a vibration. A gentle current brushed against the car like a soft breeze. Nox heard faint, watery whispers—memories, promises, and farewells. “But it’s beautiful. There’s a deeper ache out there though, as if the quiet has been disturbed and the dirt defiled.”
“Listen.” Nelson reached for Nox, turning him so he’d focus. “Professor Clancy said something the other day.”
“Clance?” Nox’s head tilted warily. “What did he say?”
“He said you’re not built for this and that you’re—”
“I knew it! He is always going to think I’m a kid. If I ever make it to fifty, he’ll still be warning me about shooting stars and burning up.”
“I don’t know about any of that, but you’re sensitive to pain and this could be bad if we’re right about Julian,” Nelson said carefully.
Nox squeezed an eye shut. “Yeah, I’m highly empathic, but that’s not a weakness.”
“No.” Nelson shook his head. “It’s a strength. You’re a natural in the field because of your empathy. People trust you and they feel safe talking to you. I’ll never be able to talk to people like that or get them to open up to me. And I’ve never seen anyone with instincts like yours. You read people like you’re a trained profiler.”
“That’s high praise because I think you’re brilliant and everyone’s going to see that soon.”
“Maybe…” Nelson’s hand lowered and settled on top of Nox’s tentatively. His cautious kisses and touches were driving Nox wild. Nelson clearly craved the intimacy from his dreams and Nox wanted to encourage him and explore that connection with him, but now was not the time and he still didn’t know if Nelson was in control of his own will.
“What are you saying?” Nox asked.
Nelson’s hand patted Nox’s awkwardly. “I think you should stay. I don’t want this to hurt you.”
“It won’t!” Nox said, but Nelson shushed him.
“I can’t see any way this ends that doesn’t hurt. If nothing’s in there and I’m wrong, we’re nowhere closer to finding those girls or Elsa’s killers than we were three days ago. We’ll be back at square one and tomorrow night’s the full moon and Samhain.” He gave Nox a moment to imagine how disappointing it would be and how hopeless they’d feel. “If they are there, it’s going to be hell if they’re alive and a different kind of hell for us if they’re dead. I’ll never forget that barn and no one was in there,” Nelson said, his voice crumbling. He coughed and chuckled bitterly, shaking his head. “My career may survive this if they’re in there. If they’re not, and I get caught doing this without a warrant and sufficient probable cause…” The hand on top of Nox’s trembled as it tightened around his. “I don’t want you to get in trouble because of this. But I’m more afraid you’ll get hurt, Nox. Physically or…spiritually. I think you’ll handle the grief better than I will, but it’ll damage your spirit.”
“What about the pain you’ll feel if you go in there without me? You were shattered when you came back this morning, Nelson.”
He shrugged a shoulder. “It’s better than knowing you’re hurt. That’s worse.”
Nox whimpered longingly as he looked at the clock on the dashboard. Of all the times for Nelson to say the magick words and unlock Nox’s pants. They would have flown right off and Nox would have mounted Nelson if they had been just about anywhere else. “We should probably go, but we’re sorting this…” He waved between them. “Whatever this is after we’ve found those girls and dealt with Julian. Together.” He turned his hand over under Nelson’s and intertwined their fingers. Nox tightened his grip so Nelson understood that they were no longer two separate entities before releasing his hand.
“I’d like that,” Nelson said, nodding as he reached into his coat and pulled the pistol from his holster. He handed it to Nox and the awful feeling was back.
“I really don’t like guns.”
“Noted.” Nelson nodded at the house. “You may change your mind if there’s someone else in that house and they’re armed.”
“Do you think there is?” Nox whispered as he whipped around.
“Would you leave six captives unattended all day while you hung out at Bippity Boppity Books?”
“No.” Nox squeaked. He hugged the pistol against his chest and wondered if maybe they should wait for a warrant and return with backup. “Do you think they know we’re here?”
“Probably.” Nelson turned the key in the ignition, cutting off the loud rumble of the engine. “I don’t care about who or what’s in that house. They won’t stop me if those girls are in there. But you should wait here.” Nelson leaned close and his lips brushed Nox’s cheek before he pushed open his door and got out.
Nox whistled as he threw his door open and went to join Nelson. “I am getting all up in his chakras later,” he promised himself, shaking his head at Nelson’s audacity. How dare he say something that sexy in the midst of such an intensely daunting moment? “Gonna ride him around my house like a pogo stick.”
“What?” Nelson asked, but Nox shook his head.
“Just giving myself a little pep talk.”
Nelson nodded absently as he slapped a magazine into the grip of a pistol and tapped the slide forward, loading it. He tucked it into the holster under his coat and pointed at the cottage’s back door. “I like to review my close-quarters combat training.” He closed the trunk quietly and headed off at a determined stride. “I’ll be using one-man room-clearing tactics and ‘slicing the pie’ so it’s imperative that you stay right behind me.”
“Okay! What does that mean?” Nox whispered as he tiptoed along the bushes at Nelson’s side. The hedges were tall, covering the basement windows and Nox had noticed that all the cottage’s windows were covered, the curtains and blinds all drawn.
