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“Well, we can’t just pack up the whole house, so this should do it for now. If I need something else, I’ll just buy it.”
“Fine by me, I’ll buy you whatever you want. Let’s get the fuck out of here.”
She won’t stop pacing. We’ve only been home for fifteen minutes, but she’s spent that whole time pacing around my living room, moving into the library and then back out again, that dress and her auburn hair flowing around her in a dramatic scene fit for a movie.
She’s magnificent.
And she worries me.
Finally, before I can say anything, she starts to tug at her dress, trying to get out of it.
“I can’t breathe in this thing,” she says as she pulls at the material. “Help me, please.”
She’s almost frantic, as if she’s having a panic attack, and I don’t like it. I help her out of the dress. She unfastens the strapless bra and tosses it aside, too, and then, with just her underwear on, she runs up the stairs with me hot on her heels.
There’s no way I’m leaving her alone right now.
She pulls a simple T-shirt over her head, steps into some sweats, and then ties her hair up in a bun, sighing in relief.
“That’s better.” Then she turns to me. “Sorry, this isn’t the sexy scene I was hoping for.”
“I’m worried about you.”
She pauses, frowns, and then walks back to me to take my hand. “Let’s go back downstairs, okay?”
“We can go wherever you want.”
She leads me to the living room and sits on the couch. But then she pops up again and returns to pacing.
“I’m just so mad,” she finally says. “It got in my house. In my home. Despite the fact that I have wards and sigils and crystals in a grid around it, it got to me there, and that just pisses me off.”
“Understood.” I sit and watch her pace, full of angry energy.
“Is it because I left the door open while we went about gathering things?”
“That could be. We left an opening unattended, and that’s how it slithered its way inside to you.”
“In. My. House. I swore after Beltane that it wouldn’t get to me there ever again. Because I can’t be like Breena, Xander. I can’t leave my home the way she did. I know it worked out for her in the end because of Giles, but I can’t do that. I like your place. It’s really nice, and I like being here, but my cottage comes from my mom. And her mom. And it’s by the water, and you know how I need that.”
“I know.” I also know that I’ll be moving in with her and selling this house or renting it out in the future. She needs that place, and I need her, so it’s a no-brainer.
“And now it fucked with me there and tainted it for me. And I’m just so mad. I refuse to be afraid in my own home.”
“Okay, at the risk of having you slap me, I’m going to tell you to take a deep breath. Take a breath, baby.”
She does as I ask. She plants her feet, closes her eyes, and pulls in a long, deep breath.
When she opens her eyes again, she frowns at me. “I’m still pissed.”
“I know, but I need you to calm down a little because we’re not resolving anything this way.”
“I’d rather be worked up than afraid,” she admits, but she does sit at the other end of the couch, then pulls her feet up under her and faces me.
“Do you feel sick?”
The anger clears from her face and makes way for surprise. “Actually, no. I don’t. And I didn’t, even right after when you carried me home. That was nice, by the way.”
She takes another deep breath, and I see some of the anger leave her, her shoulders falling just a little bit.
“It honestly wouldn’t have fucked with me so badly if it hadn’t gotten to me inside my house. Outside is one thing, but that’s my sanctuary.”
“Totally understandable, of course. How did you get out to the cliffs so fast?”
She blinks and then frowns. “The cliffs?”
“Yeah. I was only in the bedroom for about ten minutes. By the time I came out and realized you were gone, you were at the top of the cliffs. That’s at least a twenty-minute walk.”
“I have no idea.” She nibbles on her thumbnail, trying to remember. “Holy shit, I don’t know.”
“Okay, we’re not going to focus on that right now. I think we should get some rest. It’s past midnight.”
“I don’t know if I can sleep.” The admission is a whisper. I reach over and pull her to me, done with not touching her. We both need the connection. “I don’t want to dream.”
“I’m right here.” The hamper is close by, so I reach in and snag the baby blanket, pressing it to her heart. “We’re right here.”
