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“You don’t have to put up with that,” Matt says.
His words remind me of what I told their mom, Victoria, the other night at the steakhouse. That she doesn’t have to accept that.
“Put up with what?” I ask, pretending not to understand what he means.
Matt looks at me with a sympathetic gaze. “With that bullshit. And I genuinely like you being around. You’re not like the other girls he’s used to dating-”
He stops himself short when he realizes what he’s saying to me and quickly clears his throat. “I’m sorry.”
I place my hand on my hip and throw the cloth down, before turning and facing Matt. “No, I want to know. What kind of girl does he usually date? Because it’s certainly not me.”
“What do you think?” Matt waves his hand around at the girls walking around us. “I think you should find him right now and set him straight.”
My voice is low when I speak. “Wouldn’t he just get angrier?
Matt rolls his eyes. “Who the hell cares? Sometimes you need to just step up.”
I grab a solo cup and gulp down what faintly tastes like vodka and cranberry juice, before leaving the kitchen.
“That’s the spirit!” Matt shouts behind me.
A new sense of determination fills my bones as I push through the throng of people. Some are dancing, some are sticking their tongues down each other’s throats. Definitely more than sixty people.
I thought I wouldn’t dare touch alcohol again after the incident with Blake, but I realise that need balls to handle any situation with Hudson and I didn’t have any balls if I didn’t at least have some alcohol running through my veins.
I catch sight of Hudson’s tall frame on the deck as he stands with a group of other people near a table. As I near them, I quickly realise that they’re not just gathering around for no reason, but getting lines of cocaine ready for the next person waiting to get their hit.
Hudson runs his hand through his hair as he leans over the table and takes his line of cocaine next. And then I see her.
It’s the girl from the yacht. The first night I had been on the Cassiopeia. The same girl he reassured me was a publicity stunt and nothing more.
She’s here. I watch as she leans in and whispers something to Hudson and he laughs. He’s not irritated with her and he’s clearly having a great time.
Hot tears are threatening to spill and I want to scream and punch that bitch. But I just stand there, even as he turns towards me and his eyes meet mine.
And I stare right back at him, but all I get is a blank stare. The “I don’t care about you stare”.
I swivel around and rush towards the stairs that lead down into the thicket of trees. And even though it’s dark, I run through the trees. My breath is ragged and I feel my face heat up with tears as random branches dig into my skin.
How dumb am I to believe everything between Hudson and me is different? Different from Ryan? He’s just the same but worse. A million times worse.
As I break free from the never-ending thicket, I find myself on the beach. Instead of sand, there are wet, shiny pebbles covering the ground in front of me as the water gently ripples against the shore, before going back out.
To my left, there’s an enormous boathouse with lights on and a high deck, so I move towards the boathouse and climb the deck and walk to the very edge, before sitting down and staring into the black depths of water. I decide to sit there until I feel like I can go back to the house and until the party dies down.
I don’t want to face Hudson. Not right now. I’m not going to give him the satisfaction of seeing how much he affects me.
47
Stella
Hudson
I pull Stella into one of the spare rooms. I am so fucked up right now after that line of cocaine and all the beer I’ve been drinking all night.
And I wanted to fuck Parker so badly, but unfortunately, she’s unavailable. Thankfully, Stella is around. She’s always around.
I lean against the bed as the busty brunette frees her long hair from her silky red ribbon, before ripping my shirt open and peppering wet, sloppy kisses along my torso. I don’t even like her that much, but sex is sex.
