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What the fuck, Noah?Why did he even care what Jax wanted in a partner? They had left that behind ten years ago, a discussion that had never happened because he’d been too chicken to raise it. If Jax wanted kids, he’d let him know. And if he didn’t tell him, that would be because it was never meant to be. They had followed different paths since they were last together, and his life was suddenly overshadowedby injury.
“Stop moping!” He spoke aloud into the silent house, needing the grounding of his own voice in his ears to quiet the thoughts that seemed to be running on a never-ending loop. Over all the other emotions clamoring to be felt, loneliness settled around him. He tried to shrug it off, losing himself to the cadence of the vacuum and the huffs of his own breath and Klinger’s gentle snoring. But soon, it wasn’t enough.
He took his cellphone into the bathroom with him and found one of his go-to soundtracks, letting George Michael, Bryan Adams, Adam Levine, and Sting distract him from thoughts of Jax. He had half an hour before his student arrived, so he sat at the piano planning out the sequence he’d be following. The boy was fairly advanced with potential, if he applied himself to practice. He sighed as he stood up from the piano to get a glass of water. Not every kid was like he had been, thirsty for the music that watered his soul. In fact, most of the boys he knew back then had found their fulfillment in one sport or another.
Promptly at one o’clock, his doorbell rang. Klinger barked and ran to the door, ready to welcome their guest. Time to get a move on. At least for the next hour, he wouldn’tbe alone.
Chapter 8
Jax
How did a guy talk to his best friend about
his epically failed relationship?
“That was great, Jim. You’ve definitely improved since the last time you cooked meanything.”
Jax ducked the swat that Jim aimed at him with the dish towel, chuckling at his friend. It had been a simple meal, but Jim had followed his wife’s directions to the letter and produced a really palatable feast. The boys had cleaned their plates and asked for seconds, and Annie had declared herself proud of her husband’s efforts. Now she was taking a nap while they cleaned up.
He was grateful for the time he was spending with his found family in the absence of his blood relatives. At the very least, it kept him from dwelling too much on the events of the evening before, when Noah had managed to get a little drunk on too many beers. What else had he expected, really? Well, maybe not that the other man would get drunk, but hehadhoped they could talk about what they wanted going forward. Despite his excitement at the prospect of his new job, he knew very few people in this part of the country and could use the support of a friend who understood the world he inhabited.
That someone could be Noah, if he could ever get past whatever awkwardness was making him avoid any conversation to do with them or with his accident. Friends didn’t do that. His heart wrenched at the word … he wanted more than friendship with Noah, no matter what his brain said was reasonable. But until he knew what Noah wanted, he was better off going under the assumption that he wanted nothing else and certainly nothing more.
“So tell me about your boy.” Jim’s words crashed into his head, abruptly dragging him back into the kitchen. It was as though he had seen inside Jax’s heart and peeled away the layers keeping his most private thoughts and feelings hidden fromthe world.
“He’s not my boy.” A deflection, and not a very good one, as Jim’s next question made immediately clear.
“Semantics, as you used to like to tell me when I tried avoiding a subject with you. Are you really going to try to convince me that there isn’t something between you two? I have eyes, bro, and I’ve been married long enough to be able to read the signs.”
Jax turned startled eyes to his friend’s face. “Signs? What signs?” Had he not hidden his interest well enough?
“The two of you were like hedgehogs at a ballroom dance, trying to participate while avoiding the spines. Not a whole lot of dancinghappened.”
Jax rolled his eyes at his friend’s exaggeration. Even if the metaphor was apt, theyhadmanaged to hold a conversation and be civil to each other. As he recalled it, there had even been a shared laugh or two.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said. Because really,he didn’t.
“Jax, the tension rolling off the two of you when y’all couldn’t avoid looking at each other was heavy. I felt like a third wheel half the time.” Jim’s smirk irritated Jax but he obviously didn’t care, since he continued, “Do you think I took two eight-year-old boys for a two-hour boat ride for my health, dude? Did you really think I was being this great dad giving them what they wanted?”
This time, his laugh was boisterous. Jax considered chucking the glass that he was holding at his friend but thought better of it. Wouldn’t want to piss off Annie who might throw him out on his ear, even if he and Jimwerebest friends.
“The last time we saw or spoke to each other was ten years ago. There was bound to be some awkwardness.”
“So that’s what you’re going with? Okay, fine.” Jim leaned against the counter. “I’ll let you have awkwardness, but that brings us right back to my original question. What’s up with you and the pretty hot Latinmusician?”
‘Pretty’ and ‘hot’ were most assuredly two good words to describe Noah. But if Jax stopped to consider descriptors, he’d chub up in his jeans and that wasn’t a sight Jim needed nor one that Jax was willing togive him.
“Nothing’supwith us. We’re just getting reacquainted, that’s all. We lost touch after he graduated.” No need to explain that they’d lost touch before he graduated, after Jax brokehis heart.
“Were you close?”
Jax heaved a heavy sigh. There was no getting past this, was there? Jim had always been intuitive enough to recognize signs most other folks might miss and, like a well-trained bloodhound, he was able to sniff out the truth with ease. And when it came to Jax, he had honed those skillsover time.
“Why the sigh, bro? You got somethingto hide?”
Jax shook his head, a reluctant smile curving his lips upward. “I’m not hiding anything,exactly.”
Jim put away the last of the dishes and went to retrieve two beers from the refrigerator. Leading the way out to the back porch, he handed one of the beers to Jax and asked as he sat down,“Then what are you doing,exactly?”
