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He hurried away, not waiting for an answer, hoping the older man wouldn’t be offended by his sudden and hasty retreat. When he got back to the cottage, Klinger was panting madly, and Noah felt a surge of guilt that he had rushed the dog back home with no concern for his aged limbsand heart.
“Sorry, monster,” he said, crouching to hug the dog before pouring food and water intohis bowls.
Not knowing what to eat, he chose cold cereal, and after adding too much Frosted Flakes to the bowl, he poured cold milk over it and went to sit before the television again. The news was on, and Noah ate distractedly, watching the latest madness in the world and wishing he could feel something other than despair. Switching it off, he rinsed his bowl and spoon, set them to dry in the dish rack, and went to gather the things he’d need for the music lesson. The little girl would arrive at ten, and because she had already begun to learn the violin, he’d have to test her first to see how far along she was so he could tailor the lessons to suit her needs. He prayed silently, as he tidied the living room, that this would be enough to distract him from sad thoughts, at least for an hour. Once she left, he’d have to figure out how to spend the rest of the day without thinking about Jax and what mighthave been.
Chapter 3
Jax
I’m looking for someone I used to know.
“Settle down, you two,” Jim scolded his sons as they tussled in the back seat of Jax’s car. He shot them a reproving look, and the boys sat back. “Strap yourselves in,” he added, and waited until they did before turning back around.
Jax looked at them in the rearview mirror. The booster seats they were sitting in raised them high enough that he could see the happy grins on their faces. He remembered being this excited about going out when he was a kid, so he couldn’t help the grin that creased his cheeks. Summertime was the time for carefree ways and fun days, and today the boys were going with him to see the start of the Windjammer festivities.
“If I have to keep calling to you guys, you’re grounded for the rest of theweekend.”
Jim spoke sternly to his sons, who stared back at him wide-eyed. The Windjammer Festival was one of the highlights of summer on the lake, and if they were grounded, it meant spending their days with their next-door neighbor Mr. Morris, a crotchety old man who would make their little lives miserable with work around the house and yard. Jax watched as they nodded solemnly and prayed that he’d have no reason to complain. They could be rambunctious, but they were just a couple of cool little boys who simply needed an outlet for all their pent-up energy. And with Annie so close to giving birth, Jim’s attention was rightfully centered more on her than on his sons. Jax was happy to help in any wayhe could.
Annie appeared just then at the front door. “Don’t forget the snacks!” she called out.
Jim hurried back to get the bag she held, kissed his wife soundly, whispering something in her ear that made her blush, and then came back to put the things in the trunk. Jax touched the horn and they all waved as he moved off. He headed to the side parking lot by the hotel that was on the lakeshore, knowing they’d opened it for a small fee for visitors to the festival. He parked as close as he could to the pier, and Jim led the way down to the gate where they paid their entry fee, got their arm bands, and sauntered in. The place was already hopping with crowds of tourists and locals, but Jim insisted that the boys take a potty break so they wouldn’t have to stoptoo soon.
Jax enjoyed the friendly atmosphere and the energy of the event. He stood by the railing and watched as a big yacht flying a Jamaican flag maneuvered itself into position alongside an equally big one with a helicopter perched on an upper deck.
“Dad! Look!” Jake, named after Jax, pointed to the big boat with the helicopter. “Do you think it really flies?” His voice was filledwith awe.
“I’m sure it does, buddy,”Jim said.
“Why do they need a helicopter when they have such a big boat?” Jude wanted to know.
“I dunno, son. Maybe they want to be able to fly over and see the ocean fromthe air.”
The boys kept their eyes trained on the chopper as though willing someone to get in and lift it away. Jim eventually got them to move on, bribing them with ice pops when they stopped for the third time to watch the big yacht with the chopper. They wanted to know if the people on the boat were the owners and if they could go talk to them. Jim managed to dissuade them, and Jax followed along, losing himself to the carefree spirit of the place.
From nowhere, thoughts of Noah invaded his mind, and he found himself wondering what it would be like to hold hands with his man as they strolled along the pier, admiring the boats, inhaling the smell of greasy foods and sugary treats, enjoying the artworks on display. They had never had a chance to be together in that way before he had called a halt to their affair. The closest they had come to enjoying public time together was when Jax had gone to see Noah at the annual students’ Christmas concert, a few months before he had called things off between them. The faculty had mingled with the student musicians, and he had managed to spend a few precious moments with Noah where he could let the younger man know how deeply he was coming to feelfor him …
“You were brilliant this evening, Noah,” he said, smiling at the gorgeous young man standing before him, his violin case in his hand. “I couldn’t be prouder of you.”
“Thanks, Prof,” Noah said, mindful of the people milling about.
Jax could see that he wanted to say more, and he himself was barely managing to resist the urge to lean in and kiss Noah’s plump lips. He stepped back a pace and turned to look around. People were moving about in the hall, chattering and laughing happily.
“Let’s go get something to eat. Maybe we can find a quiet place to chat for a fewminutes.”
Noah nodded and followed Jax out of the auditorium to the tables set up with food. “What would you like?” he asked. When Noah began to object, he added, “No refusal. You can’t serve yourself and carry your violin.”
Eventually, after they’d each made their choices, Jax had found a quiet spot on the balcony outside the hall. There were one or two other people also there, but he managed to situate them so they would not too easily be seen. He didn’t want to examine too closely the reason he’d chosen the spot, and he was grateful that Noah didn’t object.
“So, what are your plans for Christmas?” he’d asked, watching as Noah dug into the food onhis plate.
“Since I missed Thanksgiving, I’m going to my dad’s for Christmas. But I have to come back right after New Year’s because there’s that public concert I promised I’d do with the school district’s concert orchestra. We’ll need to rehearse with them for it.”
“Yes, you will. That’s a good thing you guys are doing. The kids will love that they’re playing with a college orchestra.”
Noah lowered his eyes for a moment, then looked up at Jax again. “Will you be back in timefor it?”
The question was shy and tentative, and Jax could hear the hope he was trying to disguise inhis voice.
