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If Arden had only told me he really did know Lydia. Then when she showed up at his house like she did, we could have stood in solidarity.
But that was impossible, as there are too many levels to Arden’s deceit.
He stated she was a random fan when in reality she was someone he had fucked and given akeyto his house to. Oh, and let’s not forget he shared the code to his alarm, which he never bothered to change.
I mean, really?
He trusted her to not make a copy?
Yet he didn’t trust me enough to tell me about her?
Are you fucking kidding me?
I just don’t know how we can ever get past this.
That’s why I ignore his call and subsequent texts that start blowing up my phone.
Eventually, I gather the strength to get up off the floor. I make my way upstairs, where I change into pajamas and curl up in my bed. I never had dinner, but I’m not even hungry.
After silencing my phone, I just close my eyes and go to sleep.
As the weekend progresses, Arden continues to call and text.
When I don’t respond to a single one of his attempts to get ahold of me, he shows up at the house.
It’s Sunday evening, and here he is outside, ringing the bell and banging on the door.
I don’t dare open it, but I do stand on the other side, leaning my head against the cool hardwood.
I hate myself for doing this, but I just want to feel close to him. I miss him that fucking much.
Maybe he senses I’m on the other side of the door, because he quits knocking and pleads through the wood, “Willow, please, will you just let me come in so we can work this shit out? I know I fucked up, okay? I absolutely should have told you about Lydia right away. I was just embarrassed and wanted to leave her in the past. But now I know that was a stupid thing to do.”
He’s quiet, and I blow out a breath.
And then, like he’s sure now that I can hear him, he says softly, “If it makes you feel any better, I burned the sheets. Fuck, babe, it made an awful, smoky mess.” He lets out a low chuckle, and though I make sure he can’t hear me, I do too. “I’m surprised you didn’t see all the thick-ass black smoke billowing up into the air and down the street.”
I didn’t, as I was probably in bed by that point. But it does make me smile to know he got rid of the sheets Lydia’s skeezy ass was seated on.
Still, it’s not enough to make me open the door.
But I do stay and listen to see if he has more to say.
He does. “Willow, I love you. I really fucking do. My heart is breaking, and I have a feeling yours is too. Let me mend it, please. Let me fix what I fucked up.”
Argh, I almost give in. My heart screams for me to open the damn door. I even place my hand on the doorknob.
But I…just…can’t…do…it.
I’m not ready.
And it’s like Arden knows.
I hear him sigh, and he raps once on the wood before he says, “I’ll leave you alone for now. But trust me, I’m not giving up. I will never stop loving you. Even if it takes till the end of time, I’ll be here, waiting for you to forgive me.”
He leaves then, and it’s like the whole world goes quiet.
I turn and reluctantly trudge up the stairs, my legs like lead. Not only is my heart heavy, but my whole body is too.
