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Julita tuts lightly.You’ve hardly been doing badly, Ivy. I’d say you’ve held your own impressively.
Casimir doesn’t bother with patronizing reassurances. He strokes his thumb over my knuckles. “In the area of investigating scourge sorcerers, we’re all pretty out of our depth.”
I lift my eyes to meet his then. “You’re used to everything else around here. And even the investigating—it was Julita’s quest, not mine.”
His smile turns crooked. “And she badgered you into coming here, as much as we’ve appreciated it. Do you want to go back to your life from before?”
A bark of a laugh jolts out of me. “Is that even a choice? Our problems aren’t going to disappear if I bury my head in the sand. It’s just… it’s all gotten so complicated.”
I don’t mention the latest complications, and Casimir doesn’t push. “I can be right here with you through those complications, as much as you need me.”
He tucks his arm a little around mine, and I find myself scooting closer automatically.
When I lean my head against his shoulder, his sweet sandalwood scent seeps into my lungs. I just barely resist the urge to burrow my face into his silk tunic to soak up even more.
How does he manage to make me feel so seen when there’s so much about me I’ve hidden from him?
But he does. There isn’t a part of me left in doubt that he honestly wants to know I’m happy, simply for my own sake.
I can’t say that about anyone else I’ve ever known… except maybe Linzi. And look how that turned out for my sister.
My jaw clenches against the memory, but I can’t erase the ache in my chest. Because the pang isn’t just about her.
What has the courtesan really gotten out of our “friendship”?
“I don’t have any way of ‘baking a cake’ for you,” I find myself saying. “The best I can think of is I could steal something for you, but I don’t think you’d appreciate that anyway.”
Casimir nudges his chin against my forehead. “What makes you think you’d need to do something like that?”
Oh, Cas, Julita says with a dismissive tinkle of a laugh that raises my hackles defensively. It’s a sweet question, not one that should be mocked.
But one I feel the need to answer anyway.
“If we’re friends… Ishouldbe giving you something in return, shouldn’t I? To balance things out. It doesn’t really seem like a fair friendship otherwise.”
A chuckle escapes him, with an unusual roughness to it. I raise my head so I can see his expression.
Casimir’s dark green eyes gleam, but a raw note winds through his voice, marring its usual smooth grace. “What makes you think you haven’t given me anything?”
I arch an eyebrow. “What makes you think Ihave?”
He turns toward me, lifting his hand to brush a few stray strands of hair behind my ear. As he rests the backs of his fingers against my cheek, I can’t look away from his gorgeous face.
“Maybe you don’t totally fit here,” he says. “But that can be a good thing. You notice what no one else here could. You say what no one else I know would. Do you realize, I—”
He cuts himself off and drops his gaze for a second.
When he locks eyes with me again, I can sense the resolve in his. “Jules, if you’re listening in, I’d appreciate you giving Ivy and me a little time completely to ourselves.”
My mouth goes dry. It’s strange, hearing him speak to her through me but on my behalf.
Julita’s next giggle is more awkward.Well. Of course I can take my leave.
Her presence fades in the back of my head.
Where is Casimir going with this? I stare at him. “She’s pulled back.”
“Good. Because what I’m saying now is just for you.” The courtesan’s mouth forms a slightly sheepish smile. “You have no idea how much I’ve come to look forward to seeing you. Even if it’s just in passing that day. It reminds me that there’s more to life than what’s inside these walls.”
