AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I don’t just want him between my legs. I want to cuddle against him and dance in his arms and ride through the forest with him and fawn over pretty gowns. I wanthim, in every possible way, so many more ways than he could have meant when he said the same thing.
My eyes squeeze shut. Damn it. How did I let this happen?
How could I not, when he is the way he is?
I shouldn’t have indulged him… or myself. I should have kept my distance rather than giving in to desire.
Imagine if I told him. A courtesan of nobles tying himself to a gawky street rat—anyone would laugh.
He has a life here and even he’s acknowledged that I—I really don’t.
I might not have much of any life left at all.
Gods above, if he finds out I’m one of the riven—no,whenhe finds out, because I don’t know if I can even hide the fact for the rest of the day, let alone however many days more—
He’s going to hate me. All the warmth in that gorgeous face will drain away, leaving nothing but cold horror.
Casimir withdraws from me, but he stays poised over me, a brilliant smile lighting his sweat-damp face. I force myself to smile back at him, but my stomach has twisted.
I can’t let this happen again. I can’t let it hurt any more than it already will.
I can’t indulge my own desires when I know how false the pretenses are.
He’d never have desiredmeat all if he knew what I really am.
Something must show in my expression, because a more serious cast comes over Casimir’s face. “Are you all right?”
I nudge myself upright and straighten out my underclothes between our partly entangled bodies. “Of course. That was fantastic. It’s not as if anything I’ve experienced before could compare to a born courtesan.”
A flicker of confusion crosses Casimir’s face. I’m obviously not selling my nonchalance as well as I intended.
I yank my skirts into place and scramble onto my feet as quickly as I can manage. “We really should get back to the meeting room, though, shouldn’t we? It can’t be more than an hour before the others should arrive—we should see what we can make of those records you found before then. Maybe we’ll have the whole thing solved just like that.”
The laugh I produce sounds reasonably genuine to my ears despite the mix of guilt and shame searing through my chest.
I told Alek I wasn’t an idiot, but I am—gods smite me, I am.
“Ivy,” Casimir says with the same gentleness as always, like I’m a wild foal he needs to tame.
I can’t bear it.
I stride to the door and push past it. And at the same moment, all three of the other men come barreling through the secret passage into the room.
Thirty-Two
Alek, Benedikt, and Stavros jerk to a halt at the sight of me. As I stare back at them, my nerves too frayed for me to gather myself in that instant, Casimir hustles after me. “Ivy, I think—”
The caustic bark of Stavros’s laugh draws the courtesan up short. All three of the other men’s gazes flick to Casimir and then back to me.
Benedikt’s eyebrows shoot up as Alek’s eyes widen.
I’m abruptly aware of the sweat-damp strands of hair clinging to my temples, of the neckline of my dress drooping sloppily at my shoulders because I retied the laces too hastily.
Of the flush that hasn’t quite left Casimir’s face and probably still colors my cheeks. Of his unbelted tunic and his own rumpled hair.
We might as well have a conjured sign over our heads proclaiming, “We rutted.”
Any remaining heat drains from my body. I yank at the sleeves of my dress—too little, too late.
