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The bodies no longer moving, sprawled lifeless on the floor.
Like Linzi. Like my poor little sister, torn through.
By my own wretched hands.
A clammy sweat breaks out down my back. What if that dream was a sign—a warning?
I ruin things. I know that even when I’m asleep.
Have I actually helped the fight against the scourge sorcerers? Maybe I’ve been inadvertently leading Julita’s men astray with my theories and assumptions.
I thought I could write myself a new role as hero, but what did I really accomplish while the daimon lashed out and peopledied?
The only way I’m not going to ruin everything here is if the men I’ve allied myself with destroy me first.
Or I could just go. I could disappear back into the streets of the fringes, be no one but the unknown “Hand of Kosmel,” and the men would never find me.
Go back to where I belong, where I understand the rules. Leave this entire blasted headache behind.
The chill sinks in so deep I can hardly breathe. I shove myself off the sofa and stare at the door.
It’s that easy. Wouldn’t it be so much better for all of us?
My legs propel me to the door. My fingers rest on the handle, my ears pricked for any sounds of movement in the hall beyond or the bedroom behind me.
A familiar tickle stirs in the back of my head.Ivy? What are you doing?
My heart nearly jumps out of my chest. I jerk my hand back to my side.
“Julita?” I murmur, afraid I’ll bring Stavros charging out of his bedroom. “You’re still there?”
Where would I go? Believe me, there are no other heads around here I’d like to hop into.
A lump clogs my throat. Sudden tears burn behind my eyes, but I don’t know what they’re for. “I just… When I first got back to the room after the daimon wrecked the ball, you didn’t answer me.”
Oh. Is that what happened?Julita’s voice turns abashed.I don’t know exactly what I did. The chandeliers were breaking, and we saw that woman dead, and I… I couldn’t stop thinking about the knife in my neck. The way the blood filled my throat and I couldn’t breathe…
I feel her shudder before she goes on.I suppose I was afraid I’d feel something like that all over again through you. And somehow I pulled in deeper where I couldn’t feel anything at all. It was all simply dark, and I didn’t know what you were doing or what was going on out there. Almost… peaceful.
My gut knots at the thought of the horrible memories the daimon’s assault stirred up for her. “I can understand why you’d have panicked.”
It was ridiculous, though. I’ve already been through it once. I’ve had extra time. And I didn’t like not knowing what’d happened to you. I had to come back to make sure you were all right.
“I’m glad you’re all right too,” I say, and discover that I mean it.
And the men? Did they all make it through unscathed?
Julita tries to make the question casual, but a quiver of worry creeps in all the same. My jaw tightens.
She does care about them, no matter what went into her decision to rope them into her cause.
I incline my head. “I’ve seen Stavros, and he said the others are fine too.”
Thank the gods for that.She pauses.It’s the middle of the night now from the looks of things. Where were you going?
I stare down at the hand I set on the door handle, her question ringing through my skull. Her return has shaken my resolve. “I don’t know.”
Am I really going to turn tail and run out of sheer fear? I don’t have any more reason to assume that I’ve harmed Julita’s investigation than that I’ve helped it. Stavros even said…
