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I don’t even nod, I just turn and shuffle out of the kitchen, every step pure fucking agony. It’s going to take some time for me to heal from my wounds and I can’t even go to the pack hospital to get help. They aren’t allowed to help me. I’m on my own and the weight of that settles around my shoulders.
Maybe when I turn 18 something will change. At the very least I’ll have my wolf and I won’t be so alone. I can only hope she’s not ashamed of the human she’s been given. I could use all the help I can get right now.
CHAPTER 2
SERENITY
My eyes open and it takes me a moment to realize what woke me up. It’s not the sun’s rays coming through the small window in my attic room, the one I was shoved into eight years ago without a second thought, because the sun is barely up. I can feel the chill of the early morning since this is the one place in the entire house that is not insulated.
I’m almost surprised my parents haven’t kicked me out of their home, the Beta’s home. I’ve thought, more than once over the years, that they were on the verge of forcing me to go live in the packhouse. I was sure of it from the anger on their faces as they yelled at me, as they shamed me for some perceived slight that I was never able to anticipate, but always felt the brunt of.
I’m not sure why they haven’t kicked me out. Part of me is grateful because at least I have a place where I can escape the rest of the pack. I’ll take being lonely over being an easy target any day of the week. I avoid the packhouse as much as possible and if I were forced to live there, I have no idea what horrors would be inflicted upon me.
I’m already treated like dirt, but to have nowhere else to go? It would be torture. And those who revel in disgracing me would be able to find me whenever they wanted. It’s depressing to be grateful for having a place to stay even though it’s far too cold in the winter and too hot in the summer, but here I am.
Thinking about all the things I don’t have doesn’t answer my question about what woke me up. The realization is slow as I take stock of myself. I feel restless, like something is crawling under my skin and begging to be let out. I gasp softly, not wanting to wake up anyone else in the house. Considering our enhanced hearing, it wouldn’t take much.
The only good thing is that I can’t wake up Samuel because he’s been staying on the Beta floor of the packhouse since he mated with Kathy. It’s where our family would have stayed if my parents hadn’t decided to move to this house after I was born.
I swallow hard as I catalogue the changes that I’m feeling in myself. My wolf is awake and with me. I’m 18 and now everything is going to change. I’ll be able to shift, and I can find my mate.
“Our mate will love us,” the sweet voice of my wolf in my head has me startling and causes me to almost fall out of bed. She chuckles in my head. “It’s good to meet you too, my human. I’m here for you now.”
“It won’t be easy,” I whisper. “No one likes us in this pack.”
“Mate will love us,” she assures me.
I’m not sure I have the heart to tell her my gut is telling me it won’t be as simple as she wants it to be. Maybe it’s because she hasn’t experienced all the hell my pack has put me through. I won’t be the one to kill her hope. I have no doubt that the people in this pack will do that for her given enough time.
“I don’t know why you were injured, my human,” she whispers in my mind, uncertainty coloring her words, “but I have healed you.”
I nod even though it means nothing to her, and she can’t see me. I’m grateful that gaining my wolf has given me the ability to heal faster. Still, I wonder if people will only put more effort into hurting me now. The thought is chilling and from the way my wolf freezes in my mind, I’m not the only one who thinks so.
She will learn soon enough.
“Serenity!” My father’s voice booms from downstairs, and I jump up from bed.
I hate how much fear goes through me from hearing his voice. It can’t be good if he’s calling for me this early. Not fucking good at all.
By the time I make it downstairs, still in my pajamas, my father is pissed and it’s clear from the look on his face. I’m not sure why considering I couldn’t have moved any faster than I did. I try not to huff and puff in front of him, not wanting to show him any weakness.
I haven’t been allowed to train in so long, and my body is paying the price. I’ve tried to keep up with it, but it’s not easy to do. Not when I’ve spent so much time avoiding the pain the pack likes to inflict on me. I also don’t have the skill to train myself to the level I should be at.
I’ve always wondered if they stopped training me because they wanted to keep me weak. It makes sense but feels like a lash against my soul. Wolves thrive on strength, power, and bravery. The weakest within the pack are protected. Except me.
I can’t remember the last time someone protected me.
“Yes, Beta?” I keep my eyes lowered as I stand in front of my father, but I haven’t been able to call him as such for years. I can only refer to him as Beta and it shreds a little bit more of me every time.
I can feel the confusion coming from my wolf. Yeah, I can’t explain it. I wouldn’t even be able to tell her where it all went wrong or why. She paces inside of me, uneasy at the cold way my father is looking at me, the hatred in his eyes, the formality he’s erected between us while we have no idea why.
“One of the packhouse omegas is sick. You will go there and fill in for them today,” his voice is cold and detached. It makes me wonder if he ever loved me or if the fleeting memories I have of the time before everything changed are a lie that I’ve told myself. “You will keep your head down and work hard.” He sneers, “Do not embarrass me at the packhouse.”
I swallow down the vitriol threatening to come from my lips. I want to rebuke his words and tell him that he is the embarrassment, him and the rest of this pack who has abused and traumatized me for eight years. I want to scream and hit his chest with my fists and tell him how much he has perverted the idea of being a father.
I don’t.
I simply nod and whisper, “Yes, Beta.”
