Page 269 of Still Here


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A sad smile sat on Jake’s face and my attention focused on that. I didn’t look at the gray hairs coloring his once fully dark one, I didn’t even look at his suite or how it fit him. I only stared at his face.

“I got divorced.”

“Congratulations,” I muttered sarcastically, making him chuckle.

“I deserved that. We got divorced because of… kids. I didn’t want any, and she really wanted at least one. For some reason… it made me think I never approached you after everything that happened between us. We never sat down, I never asked for your forgiveness for being such a shitty teenager.”

I shrugged. “I learned to accept an apology I never received so I could move on with my life.”

“I understand,” Jake nodded. “But… I wanted to say it out loud. I messed up… bad.”

I didn’t speak. What was I going to say? Agreeing with him didn’t help and it wasn’t going to bring me peace.

“I shouldn’t have shut you out like that and ignored you. I was caught up in myself and my career goals and I didn’t want anything to come in the way. Now, looking back as an adult, what I did was immature and I should have taken responsibility. I shouldn’t have had sex with you when you were drunk. Not like that. And every time Em would bring up kids, I got this gripping fear that I didn’t want it to be a girl. I didn’t want her to meet a guy like I was in high school. I just couldn’t shake that. That’s why I needed to come talk to you.”

I scoffed, but still remained silent.

“I know… it’s too little, too late, and I don’t deserve your forgiveness. But I need to heal this wound in me if I want to ever be able to have a family. I need to move on.”

“You seemed pretty moved on since the day I told you,” I said, not being able to stop myself. I wanted to be the bigger person, but I couldn’t. He didn’t suffer any emotional wounds. He went to Harvard and played soccer. I was the one who had to give up everything I’ve ever worked for to have a baby. “Honestly, it just shocks me how you are still the same narcissistic asshole you were before. It’s incredible, how you didn’t grow at all.”

Hurt passed on his face, but he knew better than to say anything. “I came here to apologize.”

“You came to make yourself feel better, and for me to tell you: It’s fine,” I said, not even looking at his pitiful face. “So, here you go… it’s all right, whatever you did it’s water under the bridge. Because I got over it a long time ago, I forgave you for how you treated me. But I will never forgive you for how you treated Sky or Aiden. That you would do anything to win on the field, like it mattered. Nothing is more important than family. And until you don’t learn that, you really shouldn’t be married or want to have your own family.”

“Let’s go,” Sky motioned for his biological father to leave. “You overstayed your welcome.”

Jake looked at him, and even if I wanted I couldn’t find similarities between them.

“I…”

“Nope,” Sky shut him down immediately. “Don’t want to hear it. I probably needed to hear it when I was a kid, but I’m a grown ass man who doesn’t have daddy issues, so goodbye.”

I caught a sight of Eric creeping down on the stairs and an unreadable expression on his face. My heart clenched from the pain in his eyes. He clearly never understood the difficult position his father was nor how much he was hurting him by his constant rejection.

Jake tried to catch my eyes one more time, and I gave in, returning his pleading gaze with a cold one. “You are forgiven. We all want you to move on and be happy. But I think it will be best if we keep the distance. There’s no point causing more pain to each other. It’s all in the past, but I don’t want you close to Sky or Aiden or any of my family members unless they ask for it.”

He nodded. “I just wanted your forgiveness.”

“Sounds like you need to start by looking in the mirror and forgiving yourself,” I offered. “This was never about me. It was always all about you. And this time is no different.”

I watched him walk away from me, but this time, it wasn’t like all the other times. There was no pain, no regret, no sadness in me. Only relief to finally see him gone.

“You and Eric should go out there and start the ceremony,” I told Sky instead of offering him any support.

He didn’t need it anymore. There was a time he needed his dad, but that time has passed and Aiden stepped in there.

“For the record, Aiden said it was a bad idea, but I pushed him,” he offered his own from of an apology.

“As long as you were okay with it.”

Sky shrugged and running his fingers through his hair, he glanced up at Eric, standing on the stairs. The two of them looked like brothers instead of father and son, especially both in their navy suits. “Let’s go buddy.”

Eric jumped down the stairs and he followed his father out.

Natalie wrapped her arms around me. “I love you, mom.”

“I love you too, baby,” I said back quietly and smiled. “Let’s not keep your father waiting.”

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