Page 281 of Still Here


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“You’re going to the hospital,” her mother said as she tried to keep the towel on Jesska’s leg.

“No! I’m fine. I don’t need to go to the hospital. I just need you to leave me alone.”

“Ma’am, if you’ll give us some space,” the young woman said, “I’ll take over putting pressure on her wound.”

“I’m fine.” Jesska couldn’t stand, partly from the blood in the tub making everything slippery and partly because her legs were shaking so bad, they couldn’t hold her weight.

The older man took her wrist to check her pulse, but she yanked it from him. “No! Go away,” she screamed. “Get away from me.”

“Ma’am, if she’s eighteen, we can’t force her to do anything,” he said.

“She’s not eighteen for two days,” her mother said. “I want her to get help. Whatever you need to do.”

“Shut up, Mom!” Jesska screamed. “Leave me alone!”

She screamed one more time as the needle went into her arm, and then there was nothing but black.

Jesska smacked her lips together, her mouth uncomfortably dry as she forced herself to open her eyes. Her head pounded, but when she moved to rub her temples, she realized she was stuck. Raising her head, she found her arms and legs in restraints.

“What the hell?” she grumbled, trying to make sense of her surroundings. A hospital maybe? “Hello? Help! Can someone help me?” she yelled. No one came, so she continued to call out.

A nurse walked into her room and gave her a gentle smile. “Hi there, hon. How are you feeling?”

“Why am I tied up? Where am I?”

The nurse checked her pulse. “You must be confused, huh? You’re in the hospital. Your parents have you on a seventy-two-hour hold. A doctor will be in to speak with you shortly. Is there anything I can get you?”

“Well, I’m dying of thirst, and I have to pee.”

“I’ll get you some water and a bed pan.”

“What? You can’t be serious. Why can’t I use the bathroom?”

“Because you tried to kill yourself.”

“No. I didn’t,” she insisted. “I just cut a little too deep.”

The nurse smiled again... that condescending, calm-the-beast smile. “Well, that cut nearly killed you, sweetie, so until the doctor can speak with you, I have to keep the restraints on. Are you hungry? I can bring you some pudding if you like.”

Jesska shook her head, tears slipping down her face. She wanted to rage. She wanted to tell the nurse where she could shove her pudding, but this woman was part of the key to the outside, and she wasn’t going to jeopardize her release.

The nurse patted her arm. “I’ll be right back.”

Jesska stared at the ceiling. The tiles evenly placed except one. The one wonky tile drew her attention mostly because it had a weird little yellow stain, and it annoyed the shit out of her. Within minutes the nurse returned with a tray, followed by an older man in a white coat. Doctor, or loony bin attendant? She wasn’t sure.

The nurse raised Jesska’s bed so she was sitting up and then helped her with the straw so she could drink. Water had never tasted so good.

“I’m Dr. North,” the older man said. “I thought we could talk a bit and see how you’re feeling.”

“Is today Wednesday?”

“Tuesday,” he said.

“So, if tomorrow’s Wednesday, then you can only keep me here today, right?”

The doctor checked her chart. “That’s correct. You turn eighteen tomorrow.”

Jesska squeezed her eyes shut. “Get the paperwork ready, Doc, ’cause I’m out of here at midnight.”

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