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“That you’re not ready to hear yet.”
“What? Why not?” she asked, leaning against the railing.
“There are things that you can’t believe, elskan, and until you’re open to believing, you won’t.”
“What does elskan mean? Why do you keep saying that?”
He chuckled. “Something else you’re not ready to hear.”
She pulled out her cell phone. “I’ll look it up then.”
Kaspar cocked his head and gave her a snarky smile, so she found an Icelandic translation site and typed in the word. She gasped. “Um, no. Did I spell it wrong? E-L-S-K-A-N, right?”
He nodded.
She stepped away from the railing and made her way to the front door again. “I am nobody’s sweetheart or baby,” she snapped, and unlocked her sister’s door.
Before she could open it, he took her hand gently and turned her to face him. “As I said, elskan, you are not ready to hear it.”
She felt the heat creep up her neck and dropped her gaze from his. “Stop calling me that.”
Kaspar smiled, raising her palm to his lips. As he pressed his lips to the middle of her hand, he frowned, pushing her sleeve up her arm. “What the hell is this?”
She tried to yank her hand from his, but he held firm. “Let me go.”
“Who did this to you?” he demanded.
“Nobody. Let me go.”
“Jesska, who did this to you?” he repeated, his eyes searching hers.
She shook her head, forcing back tears. “No one did it to me. I did it to myself.”
“Why?” She shook her head again, but he lifted her chin gently and stroked her cheek. “Why, elskan?”
She bit her lip. “It helps.”
“It helps what?”
“The guilt... and the pain.”
He sighed, kissing one of her scars gently and pulling her into his arms. She squeezed her eyes shut. She could hear the steady beat of his heart when she pressed her cheek against his chest. She felt like she was home. Like she was supposed to be there, standing on her sister’s porch in the twilight, in the arms of the best-looking man she’d ever seen. She didn’t know how or understand why, but Kaspar was someone she could trust with her life. But even more importantly, she could trust him with her heart. She slid her arms up his back, reveling in the warmth of his body as he held her.
When he pulled away and leaned down to kiss her, hesitating millimeters from her lips, asking without words if it was okay, she answered by closing the distance between them, and then she was truly lost.
She whimpered as emotions flooded her. Guilt, anger, sadness, despair... her heart ran the gamut as he deepened the kiss and seemed to wipe away the negative feelings with each passing second. Her grief was replaced with desire and then joy before he broke the kiss, stroking her cheek as they both tried to catch their breath.
“How did you do that?” she asked.
“We are connected, elskan. I will always protect you... even from your own feelings.”
She hissed, pushing away from him. “Is that what your brother did to Megan?”
“Elskan.”
He reached for her again, but she shook her head. “No. Don’t touch me. If you can do to me what he did to her, then that means I have no control.”
“That’s not true, sweetheart,” he countered. “You have all the control.”
