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“Okay,” she said, and locked up, following him to the car.
Kaspar waited on the sidewalk while she slid inside and secured her seatbelt. He joined her, linking his fingers with hers as Austri started the car and pulled away from the curb. Kaspar lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her palm. “You okay?”
She nodded, offering up what she hoped was a genuine smile. “I’m fine.”
Jesska turned her head and stared out the window as Austri drove to the hotel. She was thankful that Kaspar left her to her thoughts, as dark as they might be.
The car went over a bump and she looked up to see that they were driving into an underground parking lot.
Without speaking, Kaspar followed her out of the car and to the elevator bank. He wrapped an arm around her and guided her into the elevator, pushed the button, and kissed her temple as they rode up to his floor.
Jesska leaned against him, shutting down in an effort to control her emotions. As soon as she felt anything that might be considered unsettling, he’d calm her with a touch. He also seemed to pick up on her need for silence, and walked her to a non-descript door, using the key to open it and then guiding her inside. “This is your room, sweetheart.”
She surveyed the space, unable to feel anything even in the midst of the room’s warm décor. “It’s nice.”
“You can choose a different one if it’s not acceptable.”
“No, it’s gorgeous.” She smiled up at him. “I’m sorry, I’m just a little out of sorts.”
“You be whatever you need to be.” He stroked her cheek and smiled. “The bathroom has a large tub.”
“Stop being so sweet.”
Kaspar leaned down and kissed her cheek. “No.”
Jesska sighed. “So now that I’ve ruined your entire evening, shouldn’t you get back to whatever it is kings do?”
He checked his watch. “I only need an hour. Then I’m all yours.”
“No, don’t worry about it. I don’t think I’d be very good company tonight,” she admitted. “I’ll just take a bath and go to bed.”
He cocked his head. “I will come see you in an hour.”
She rolled her eyes. Bossy britches.
“Here’s Austri with your bags,” he said as Jesska’s door opened and the driver arrived with her luggage. “I’ll have Camilla unpack them for you.”
“Um, no. I can do that.”
“She will be happy to.”
“No. I’m good. Go to your meeting or whatever you need to do. I’ll talk to you in the morning.”
“I’ll come see you in an hour.”
“Kaz,” she droned. “I’m fine, really.”
He leaned down and kissed her quickly. “I’ll be back in an hour.”
“Fine.”
Kaspar studied her for a few seconds before disappearing out the door, and she was left blissfully alone.
As she went about unpacking her luggage and filling the bathtub, she realized the monotony of the work wasn’t helping to divert her thoughts from the harrowing evening. She squeezed her eyes shut as fear slipped in, frustrated because Kaspar wasn’t close to take it away. Shaking off the negative emotion, she closed her now empty suitcase and turned off the bath taps.
Fear pressed in again, and she did what she always did. She reached for her purse. Inside was the only relief she knew, and she needed that relief in a big way. Removing her clothes, she set the blade on the corner of the tub and slid into the warmth of the bath. When she felt the fear again, she grabbed for the razor, pressing it against the skin of her thigh. She’d barely gotten a nick when she heard her door smash open.
“Jesska!” Kaspar called, frantic worry in his voice.
