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Chapter Six
“I will survive this.”
I follow the man, who has a hold of my hand, up the stairs toward what looks like a set of rooms. I’m really not paying any attention to my surroundings, and the man’s face seems blurry. It should ring alarm bells with me, and if I were sober, I’m pretty confident it would, but in my current state, I’m just going along with it. At the top of the stairs, the rooms are decorated in jade and black. They have plaques on the doors with names. The man who seems big, but I can’t really tell in the floaty world I exist, stops outside one, and I try to read his plaque. I’ve got no hope, though, as the words are jumping all over the place like they’re on a trampoline.
He opens the door, pulls me inside, and instantly presses me up against the wall. There are clothes all over the bedroom floor, and it smells of cigarette smoke. I can just about make out the unmade bed in the middle of the room. I dread to think the last time the sheets were washed. The whole place feels filthy.
“Oh, baby you’re so pretty. I can’t wait to sink my dick inside you.” He starts to kiss down my face, neck, and across my chest.
I mumble something, not sure what, but it comes out as an ‘mmmm’, which he seems to like and thrusts his hardness into my thigh.
“You’re going to be good, I can tell.”
He places his hands at the bottom of my t-shirt and lifts it over my head before throwing it to the floor.
“Damn, you got pretty tits. We need to get you some clothes to show them off better. Tight little top, and a fuck me skirt to give everyone a view of your pussy.”
His head dips, and he lowers his lips onto my breasts. I don’t usually bother to wear a bra. I’m not exactly blessed with big boobs, and given I haven’t eaten much, they’ve got smaller. He wraps a tongue around my nipple and tugs. I’m sure it should be erotic and probably would be to a normal person, but this is me, and it’s like a cold shower on my alcoholic induced state. One where the water is full of ice cubes. I sober in an instant, and the panic attack rushes through my body at full pace. My stomach churns, and I muster all the strength I can and push the man away. He’s still slightly distorted to me, but the features I can see are in shock.
“Baby?” He steps back toward me, and I hold my hands up.
“Don’t touch me,” I scream at him. My heart beats rapidly, and within seconds I’m hyperventilating. I’m going to pass out in this room, alone with a stranger. A man who could rape me. He thinks I want sex with him. I’m damn stupid. Why did I drink so much?
“What the fuck?” he exclaims with a sneer and a thud of his hand against the wall. “You goddamn cocktease. What the hell is wrong with you? Two seconds ago, you were ready to come all over my dick, and now, you're saying no. You some kind of freak getting her kicks out of leading men on?”
“Please,” I whisper to him. I’m agitated, and I can’t keep still. My feet are dancing on the floor. I realize he can still see my breasts, and I wrap my arms around them to give me some modesty. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
“Fucking bitches. You’re all the same,” he snarls, and his imposing frame has me cowering into the corner of the room.
“I’m sorry. I...I...” I stammer. I want to tell him why I can’t do this. I feel guilty for leading him on. I really didn’t know what I was doing. It’s not his fault. But his tone is scaring me. It reminds me of another time I want to forget. His words are twisting deeply in my gut and re-opening old wounds. ” If...if you pass me my t-shirt, then I’ll go. I’m sorry. I’m sure there's another nice girl down there for you. I’m really sorry.”
I feel the heat emanating from him. He’s furious at the way his evening has turned out. He wants sex, and yet again, I’ve led another man on.
“You want your t-shirt? Well, I want you to suck my dick, but I guess we both can’t have what we want can we.” He’s so close to me, now, that when I work hard to focus, I can see the features of his face, and there’s nothing but fury there. “I’m done with you bitches.” He grabs my arm. I swallow deeply, believing I’m going to be attacked again. My stupidity has led me to precisely the same position as before. I try and catch my breath as my whole-body flushes burning hot.
“Please,” I whimper in between gasps of air. “I have…I have.”
But the words don’t have time to form because he’s pulling me across the room. I don’t notice that it’s toward the entrance of the bedroom until my legs give way, and I collapse on the floor.
“Get up, bitch.”
“Please,” I cry again. My whole world is so far tilted on its axis that it’s almost upside down. I’m struggling to get air into my lungs. I can feel them burn as I try to call out for help.
The man grabs me by the hair and pulls me along the floor the rest of the distance to the door. I’m crying the entire way. He flings his door open with such force it smashes back into the wall, and I’m sure the whole building shakes.
“Get the fuck out,” he snarls into my ear and almost kicks me through the door.
“Get your hands off her.” A deep resonating voice freezes the air, and when I look up, I see soulful brown eyes looking down at me.
“Heat, she’s a cocktease.” The man whose hand is still entwined in my hair pulls harder when he speaks.
“Hands now,” Heat repeats; this time with so much venom that the man holding me instantly drops my hair.
“Fuck, I don’t have time for this. I’ve got a hard-on, and I need someone to suck it. You can deal with her.” The man steps over me, where I’m lying in a heap on the floor, narrowly missing my hand, which is supporting me on the cigarette burned and mottled carpet. He stomps off down the corridor and descends the stairs. I let out a long breath when he disappears from view, but then I remember Heat. I know he’s going to tell my brother what happened. I need to think up lies to get out of this, and fast, but I can still barely breathe. My head’s spinning like a carousel.
“Up,” Heat orders, but my legs are wobblier than jelly. I know there’s no hope of me obeying.
“I can’t,” I stutter through ragged sobs.
