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“I know,” I said quietly. He kissed the side of my neck then leaned forward, lifting a slice of fruit which he brought to my mouth. I angled my head back, taking a bite and watching while he finished the rest. After a long pause, he kissed me and smiled.
“You can add this to things that I like.”
I chuckled and rolled my eyes. “It still includedmeso you’ll have to do better. Technically the list isn’t growing.”
“I’ll see what I can do about that.”
And with a gentle ease, the tension released and we settled back into us.
NINETEEN
elias
On our thirdday here I knew I wasn’t balanced.
Cress provided an instant calm but when my thoughts shifted away from anything other than her, I felt the loss of control.
Unfortunately there wasn’t much I could do about it until we returned home but I did at least attempt to rein in my erratic mind.
“Elias….”
I tensed at the sound of Dr. Temple’s voice even though I had left several urgent messages for her to call me as soon as possible.
“Yeah, thanks for calling me back.”
“You said it was important.” Her voice was calm. I appreciated that considering the three messages I left. I hadn’t been sleeping much. A couple hours at most and my nerves were getting more anxious by the day. I stood facing the water with my back to the bedroom where Cress slept peacefully. After a quick glance over my shoulder, I clutched the phone tighter and lowered my head, brushing my hand over my waves.
“Yeah, I feel a little off. I was wondering if…”
“Off.”
“Yes, off. I’m not sleeping much and when I do, it’s barely anything at all. My mind feels cloudy like I can’t focus as much. The changes you made with my meds, you think it could be that?”
She was quiet for a minute before she said in a low even tone, “You missed your last appointment. We had a deal.”
“Yeah, I know. Things got a little crazy with the wedding…”
“Which is precisely why you should have made it a priority to come see me.”
My jaw tensed and I felt anger creeping to the surface. I missed the fucking appointment. There wasn’t much I could do about that now. Rightnow, I needed her to tell me if these gotdamn meds were what had my thoughts unfocused and my head cloudy.
“I’ll be there to see you as soon as I get back.”
“How long will that be?”
“A few days.”
She was quiet again and I glanced over my shoulder to make sure Cress was still asleep. Every morning I was up before her. I worked out or swam to burn the extra energy that I couldn’t seem to shake. That had been working but she also helped. I felt calm when she was near me, touching me, or when I was fucking her. When I wasn’t I just felt anxious.
“So lack of sleep. Any other symptoms?”
“No, not really.”
“You don’t feel like you’re cycling?”
“No,” I said harshly. This wasn’t that. I could always tell when I shifted one way or the other. This was different.
“Are you sure? You sound angry.”
