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“If you don’t want me here with you…”
“Cress, I was the one demanding that you live with me instead of your place. Why wouldn’t I want you in here, with me?”
“I don’t know.” I lifted and moved to him but left some space lingering. “Maybe this week was just this week. I wasn’t sure.”
“I want you here…” He yanked me into his chest. “…with me.”
He dropped a kiss to the top of my head and I smiled into his chest. “Good because I kinda don’t think I would like not falling asleep with you every night.”
He kissed the top of my head again. “I’ll move your stuff then I need to take care of a few things. You gonna be okay here until I get back?”
I felt his muscles tense against me and I tilted my head back and found his eyes almost as tight as the muscles in his body.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine. What about you? You okay?”
He hesitated but nodded sharply. “Just got a few things that I need to get to after being gone all week.”
His hold on me tightened before his lips brushed mine. “I won’t be long,” he murmured against my mouth and his body relaxed. So did mine.
But he still felt tense. Just not as much as he had been moments before.
“Okay.”
“Call me if you need anything and Ez is here.”
“I’ll be fine. I’m going to do some standard new wife snooping.” I grinned and he chuckled, looking around.
“The only woman that’s been in here is the one who cleans a couple days a week but I’ll let you have it.”
I watched him move into the adjoining bathroom and listened while he moved around. A few minutes later, I had eyes on him again as he tugged his hands from the pockets of the sweats he was wearing. Their tapered cut did very little to hide the outline of three pill bottles. Two in one pocket and one in the other.
“Be good while I’m gone.” I swallowed down my unease and forced a smile that he returned while I watched him leave. The minute he did, I accepted the fact that as soon as we’d boarded our plane home,easyno longer existed.
TWENTY-ONE
elias
I pushedmy bike much faster than I needed to move through town with reckless abandonment. I timed things perfectly, blowing through green and yellow lights, some red when I missed my mark. The thrill felt good. The rush allowed me to shake the feeling that had been pulsing through me all week. A feeling that only settled when I focused onher. Everything felt right when I touched her or she touched me.
I didn’t like the way I was losing small bits of control but I also knew that this wasn’t like the times before. This was different but the problem was, my mind didn’t allow me the comfort of trusting my thoughts or even the way I felt. What seemed logical wasn’t. What felt simple could easily be the beginning of something complicated.
Exhaling a slow breath as I pressed the gas to move faster, I leaned into my bike focusing on the hum of the engine and the vibration of it below me. All I had to do was get back to where I had been before things started to shift.
I had left a message with Dr. Temple before we left. She approved it while I was on the plane. So as I pulled up to her office I felt less anxious and when I stepped off the elevator I felt like I could breathe a little easier. One simple change to get me back to where I needed to be.
“Elias.”
I tossed my chin, stalking past Dr. Temple. She closed us in her office. While she made her way to the seat across from where I was standing, I removed the three bottles I’d brought with me and slammed them down on the concrete and wood sculpted table that separated us. “There, I brought them but I don’t see why you needed ’em. You could have just refilled the prescriptions I had.”
“I could have, but I wanted to be sure that these weren’t the issue.”
“How the fuck could that be the issue and not what you prescribed me. I was fine on those. I was perfectly fine until I started taking that other shit.”
“That was your decision, not mine Elias. If you’re accusing me…”
“I’m not,” I gritted, feeling anxious. It had been a long time since I felt my restraint slipping. I didn’t like the way it made me feel.
She stared at me for a moment longer then lifted, taking the pills with her. She returned with three new bottles and set them down in front of me.
