AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“You don’t have to babysit me, Cress. I know that you’ve been around more, especially since we put the studio here at the house but…”
“It’s not that.”
Samson having access to me had twisted something in Elias. He felt responsible and because he did, he was more adamant about keeping me close without pushing too hard. That was why he’d built me a studio at the house and I loved him for wanting me safe and protected. I understood.
“Then what is it…”
“Elias, give her space to say what she needs without inserting your opinions. Don’t assume. Let her be clear about her reasons. Once she’s expressed her feelings on what she needs then you’ll have a chance to give your thoughts.”
His eyes shot over to Dr. Shore. This was the hard part for him. He was a proud and confident man. Having another man moderate how he could speak or respond tohiswife was a struggle. That he was accepting of the process allowed me the comfort of knowing he was truly committed to being open, honest, and vulnerable when it came to me and our marriage.
He allowed it.
“Go ahead,” he mumbled but his voice was strained with a forced control.
“Taking time off is not because I feel like I need to be here with you. You’re doing the work. You don’t need me holding your hand.” His fingers tightened over mine and I smiled. When I lifted my eyes his were there. Intense and assuring. “It’s just that it might be difficult to finish the season because I’mpregnant.”
Elias’s body went stiff beside me. I couldn’t look at him. Not yet because…
What if he didn’t want this?
What would that do to us?
I knew his struggle with accepting the idea of kids. We discussed it randomly one night while in bed a few weeks afterthat day. He was concerned about a child inheriting his disorder. That broke my heart because it was proof that he was ashamed of that part of himself. I never wanted him to be. I loved everything this man was.
Was it difficult at times? Yes, but never in a way that made me regret being with him, loving him.
“How?” His voice trembled with uncertainty. “We’ve been careful.”
“We have. We’re always careful but one time we weren’t.” He swung his head in my direction, brows pinched, body stiff.He remembered.The night after he came out of things a couple months ago. We spent the day together, it was nice. I was exhausted so I crashed early but when he came to bed late that night, things got raw and emotional. We needed each other and neither of us paused to consider the consequences.
Today we had to. I had been doing so for a little over a week once I’d gotten the positive result.
“That night?” His tone was low.
“Yeah.”
“If I may…” Dr. Shore interjected. We both turned to him and he continued. “Before you move further, Elias, I would like for you to express how the news of this pregnancy makes you feel. It’s important that you be allowed to give Cress your thoughts without them being influenced by hers.”
He wanted Elias to speak freely without the hesitation or pressure of knowing what I wanted the outcome to be.
“I…” He cleared his throat. “Kids are complicated.”
“Please be more specific with what you mean by complicated, Elias.” Dr. Shore wanted him to say it out loud.
I’m afraid of having a kid who ends up being like me.
He nodded stiffly. “Complications like why we’re here now, discussing the possibility ofourchild in the company of someone else…” he said harshly but it was more defensive than an attack on me or Dr. Shore.
But that still didn’t stop me from whispering, “I’m sorry…”
“Don’t apologize. You’re completely justified for bringing this up here and I’m not upset.” Elias lifted my hand and placed a kiss on my ring finger. “This part will always be hard for me but I’m adjusting.”
“Cress, do you want to address your feelings on his concerns about the two of you having a baby?”
I didn’t speak right away and Elias felt my hesitation because he kissed my temple and whispered against my ear, “Communication.”
One of our expectations with this marriage.
