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“Myfreedom?” I hissed through tight lips. “Living a normal life is not a privilege. It’s my right.”

“No, it’s not. We’re not anormalfamily, Cress. Let’s not pretend you haven’t always known the difference. I need you to do this. It’s important. If there were any other way…”

But there isn’t.

He offered a silent apology and just like that, my life was changing.

FIVE

elias

“You goingto explain what the fuck just happened back there?”

“You were there, Ez. You’re well aware of what happened.”

“You demanded to marry Cress. That part is clear. I would like to know why?”

Because I saw her last night and something in me changed. A calm I have never in my life felt before and I’d never spoken one word to the woman. I felt that same calm when she entered Christian’s office. Before I knew it was her, Ifeltthat it was her.

How the fuck could I explain that to my brother when I didn’t understand it myself? I wanted Cress beyond something sexual. Why I wanted her didn’t have a reason at the moment but she was going to be mine for however long it took me to make sense of things.

“I gave you the reasons. You want this to be believable, then it has to be her. Not her sister.”

Ez cut his eyes my way as he navigated off their property. “Everything you said makes perfect sense and I agree but that has very little to do with your decision. You personally want her. Why?”

“Does the why matter or does me agreeing matter?”

“For me, both.”

His eyes were on me again. Cautious. Searching. He wouldn’t see what I couldn’t understand at the moment and I didn’t understand the draw I had to a woman I’d only been around a handful of times in my life. Even back then as teens and young adults, this, what I was currently feeling, didn’t exist. This was overwhelming and dangerous for a man like me. I didn’t fucking care.

“That was impulsive. Are you sure…”

“My head is clear, Ez.” I gave him my eyes. He couldn’t read my thoughts but he could see my stability. He’d experienced the mania enough to recognize when there was balance. Right now, I had that.

“Okay then.” He was quiet for a moment. “And if she says no…”

“Then I go home.”

He wanted to argue. He wouldn’t because he understood that it wouldn’t do him any good. I settled into the silence and embraced my thoughts.

Thoughts of her.

Last night she danced for a room full of men. It felt like punishment regardless that she didn’t know I was there. The diamond encrusted mask hid her identity, allowing her ambiguity from them. They could pass her on the street, share the same space in a coffee shop and never be the wiser. That wasn’t the same with me. I felt her. How fucking crazy was that? Maybe not as out of the box for me. My mind wasn’t like others. I didn’t rationalize, see, think, or feel the way most did but I felt Cress. I needed to understand why. Marrying her would give me time and proximity to do so.

While my brother drove, I was lost in my head. The visual of Cress moving last night. The way my breath left me with no promise of returning. Everything in me became erratic and settled at the same time. Diamonds sparkled over her body, barely covering anything. Her breasts were on display, the valley between her thighs was shaded by a cluster of the jewels but not much else. Crystals scattered her arms and legs, and the rest were randomly placed to add the illusion of being rare and exquisite. She was a rare gem.

Her movements were magic, seductive, sensual and skillful. What I saw was freedom. On that stage last night, Cress was free. No restriction existed. I could imagine that being a dancer all her life had created a world of control. Much like the world I lived in but for different reasons. My disorder controlled me. The way I had to manage my bipolar was restrictive to normal life. I wondered if that meant she could understand me the way that I understood her.

“Lias…”

I delivered a hard stare to my brother who glanced back at me with concern. “We’re here.”

I glanced past him to the hotel I was staying in and offered a nod. “Are you coming up?”

“No, dinner with Sasha.”

“Interesting,” I murmured and he exhaled a sigh, sinking deeper into his seat.

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