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The lie felt bitter on my tongue because she would be more than that. She had something that called to me and I needed to know why.
“Are you sure?”
I stepped closer to my brother, angling my head to the side. He mirrored the motion shifting his slightly in the opposite direction. “What are you really asking me, Ezekiel?”
“I’m asking if you can marry Cress and keep your head clear.”
Probably not.
She was already crawling beneath my skin, creating triggers that I didn’t know were possible. This was new and I would have to learn how to navigate Cress Devereaux.
“I’ve already told you I’m fine. My head is clear. It will remain clear.”
I turned to walk away and his voice traveled behind me.
“She’ll have to know. You’re going to have to tell her what she’s dealing with.”
“Don’t worry, Ez. I’ll make sure my wife-to-be knows that she’s marrying a fucking lunatic.”
He didn’t bother arguing that he never believed I was a lunatic, insane, crazy. That had always been my father. Unbalanced, yes. Ez would never deny my afflictions but he didn’t see them as weaknesses the way my father always had. My brother sawme. We’d been here before. I accepted who I was. No point in engaging in the same argument that would never change.
* * *
Watching Cress on video and in rehearsals was nothing compared to experiencing her on stage. She was a thing of beauty—rare, exquisite, agile and lithe. Watching her now, I experienced so many emotions and although there were sexual thoughts, the most profound had been appreciation. Regardless of who shared the stage with Cress, she completely owned and dominated every inch of it.
Now watching as she moved around graciously speaking with patrons I felt a sense of pride and surge of jealousy from the way they fawned over her, clearly just as affected as I had been from her performance. The erupting commotion moving about allowed me the ability to remain in the shadows, out of sight until I finally slipped away, leaving her to be embraced and gifted praise and flowers. A show of appreciation. She deserved their adoration. I simply didn’t care to hang around and witness it.
I found her dressing room and stepped inside. The flowers I’d delivered prior to the performance sat on a small table next to a tiny black leather sofa. The space was tidy but lived in. Clothes draped across a metal chair. Wardrobe open with dance attire hanging on hooks and satin hangers. Some shoved to corners at the bottom. This space was the essence of her. Only minutes after I finished my perusal of her space, the door opened and she fluttered in arms full, cradling roses that had been given. She wore a huge smile on her face as she glanced over her shoulder toward whomever had let her in. The way she cradled the flowers there was no way she would have been able to handle the door herself.
“Hurry and change and we can grab dinner to celebrate. I told you we would kill it tonight and we did.” The male voice which spoke from the hallway was laced with excitement. Her partner no doubt.
“You might want to tell your partner that you already have dinner plans.”
Cress almost leapt backward at the sound of my voice. Her gaze darted around until she located me. A soft gasp fluttered from her sweet little mouth before those plush lips pressed firmly into a flat line. Heat jolted over to where I was standing near the corner of her dressing room. Her disdain for my presence was evident in the way her expression blazed with anger but I found myself looking past my bride-to-be when the door opened wider and a male figure stepped forward, moving with the same practiced grace almost as gracefully as my Cress’s.
My…
“Oh, you already have plans…” There was a smugness to his expression as his eyes fully took me in and bounced between Cress and me.
“She does. You’ll have to take a rain check. I’ve made reservations.”
“Hmmmm…” he hummed with one final glance between us. “Rain check it is then. Have fun, kiddos. Cress, I’ll see you tomorrow at rehearsal.”
Thankfully he left before she could argue and that left me alone with my fiancée who wasn’t as enthusiastic as her partner had been about my impromptu pop up in her dressing room. I didn’t allow it to fuck up my plans for the evening.
“You were incredible out there tonight.”
“Thank you.” She softened for all of a beat before her posture was ramrod straight again. She turned her back to me and emptied her arms, placing the four bouquets of roses on the slim counter below the mirrored wall allowing me the visual of her reflection as she glared at me.
“What are you doing here?”
“We have dinner plans.”
She turned to face me, locking her arms over her chest. “I’m aware but I meant here in my dressing room. You shouldn’t be back here. I’m not sure how you even managed this.”
It then occurred to me how easily I’d gained access. If that were the case, anyone else could do the same. I would make sure that was rectified. But for now my attention was better spent on the fiery, unwelcoming woman who was likely plotting my death in the most painful ways.
“Consider me being here my guarantee that we didn’t have a repeat of last night when you completely ignored the deadline I granted.”
