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“But you’re doing it.”
“Do I have a choice, Jona? Because if I do, then please by all means, present the alternative and I’ll gladly step away from this.”
“Fine, give me his number and I’ll talk to him. It won’t take much to convince him I’m the one he needs to marry, not you.”
I rolled my eyes and eased back against the stack of pillows that made up for my lack of headboard. My bed was flush against the exposed brick wall in my bedroom. The set I purchased only came with two low sitting nightstands and no headboard which pretty much offered a minimalist vibe.
“Convince him how, Jona.”
“I have my ways…”
The hint of lust in her voice alluded to one of those ways. “Sleeping with him won’t change his mind about who he wants to marry.”
I didn’t know that for sure, but I was fairly certain.
“That’s not what I meant.” I narrowed my eyes and she shrugged.
“Okay, that wasn’t theonlynegotiation tactic I planned on using. You don’t know anything about the family business. You never wanted anything to do with it. This marriage is all business. I’m the better choice.”
“He didn’t think so. It was his decision. Not mine or Christian’s.His.”
She was annoyed. I could see it in her eyes.
“Everything is so easy for you. You get everything you want. Even the things youdon’twant.”
An arranged marriage. Certainly didn’t want that.
“Why are you upset with me? You shouldn’t want this either. It’s fucking insane, Jona. Why wouldanyonewant this life, least of all you. You’re young. You can do what you want. Maybe think about that.”
“This is what I want. This is what I’m good at. You have your career, what else do I have?”
“Anything you want. Why don’t you get that?”
The look on her face expressed exactly why. She didn’t feel like she deserved to be happy. One mistake set her life in motion down a path that wasn’t meant for her. That no one should want.
“Jona, come here.”
She lifted her chin defiantly, but her eyes expressed that she was breaking.
“Jona…” My voice softened and she gave in. She moved away from the door, kicked off her shoes, and crawled toward me. I opened my arms and she sank into my body, resting her head in my lap after a few minutes. My fingers raked through her hair and we remained silent for what felt like an eternity before I leaned over and kissed her cheek. My sweet baby sister. This was how I remembered her. This was how I wanted our bond to be. Me protecting her from the dirtiness of the world.
“You don’t have anything to prove. Not to Christian or our father. I need you to believe that.”
“I made a mistake and they will never forget.”
Half true. Our father had forgotten because his brain was no longer functioning the way it should. Christian remembered, but didn’t blame Jona. He understood bad choices. He was married to a very bad choice.
“One mistake and nobody’s perfect. We all have flaws.”
“You don’t, at least not to Daddy and Christian. They hate what I did…”
And they hate me…
Those unspoken words hung silently at the end of her sentence but she was wrong. So very wrong.
“Hey, look at me…” She turned so her face was angled up toward me. Mine leveled over hers. “The rules are different for us. They always have been. Our lives are always subject to harsh judgment and speculation. Appearances matter tothem. We’re not offered the grace that others are allowed so at times what seems like an irreconcilable mistake is nothing more than life lessons and growing pains.”
“But Daddy was so angry. We were never the same after that.”
