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“Damon, I miss you. I’ve missed you all these years. Please, call me when you have some time to wrap your mind around this revelation.”Abel stops talking when Pogo starts barking. “This little guy says hello. Do you remember that question you asked at graduation? About Savage having a brother that can buy you a puppy?”Abel pauses dramatically and I wish I could disappear with what he says next. “Michael likes puppies. Here’s my number. Call me soon. I love you.”
Abel rattles off his number quickly before the video stops playing. Damon makes no move to hand it back. He just sits there with his eyes locked on the screen, staring at a smiling Abel with a chunky Pogo in his arms. Damon touches the screen and sniffles, nodding his head like he’s decided something.
“Thank you for that.” Damon finally looks me in the eyes, and I can’t look away. There’s something behind his eyes, something that speaks to me on a deep level. A level I don’t even understand, but I want to.
I want to know everything about Damon. I want to know why he looks so sad, why his eyes don’t shine like they did the first time I saw him. Then something catches my attention. “Your glasses.”
Damon’s hand goes to the bridge of his nose as if to push his glasses up, then drops his hand quickly. “Oh, yeah. I don’t … I can see without them. Everything far away is just a little blurry. So, when I have to go out, I don’t wear them.”
“Have to go out?” I ask, wondering at that statement.
He waves me off and asks, “Can you tell me what happened, please? I want to understand so I’m not bombarding Abel with questions when I call him.”
“You’re going to call?” I ask, feeling hopeful for Abel’s friendship. Abel is my brother and if he can get his friend back, that would make me happy.
Damon nods slowly. “I am. I know I was pissed about it earlier today, but I get it. I think I knew deep down that he trusted me. It’s just … I’ll tell Abel.” I wish he trustedmeto tell me what he’s thinking, but I haven’t earned his trust yet. Maybe one day. “Tell me what happened please?”
Nodding, I tell him the story from start to finish. I begin with Abel’s brother breaking into Savage’s house and how Quin and I interrogated him. Then Abel had shown up just as we finished setting up the security system and how Savage demanded we bring him to the office. I laugh as I tell Damon about how fearless Abel was in front of Savage, even though he was so much bigger than him.
I continue with Savage wanting to get out of guns and drug running, not sugar coating anything, so I won’t run the risk of lying to him later. Tell the truth now and I won’t have to worry about keeping any lies straight. Damon’s eyes grow wide, but he doesn’t interrupt.
Instead of focusing on Abel and Savage’s growing—and very physical—relationship, I jump to the end, where Savage knew he wanted to spend his life with Abel, taking him with us when Savage decided to leave. “We were going to just leave. There would have been no reason to pretend we didn’t exist. Just fake our deaths and leave, our enemies being none the wiser. But …”
Damon finishes the sentence. “But Abel got kidnapped.”
Sighing and pulling my lips in, I nod. “Yeah. He got kidnapped. Because of me.” I close my eyes and shake my head, trying to stop the overwhelming guilt from dragging me down.
Had I walked in that hospital with Abel, made sure he didn’t sneak off, away from my protection, he would have been fine. He wouldn’t have gotten beaten to within an inch of his life, his battered body black and blue for weeks.
I jump when Damon places a soft hand on my wrist. When our eyes meet, his are pleading. “What did you do? Did you … hurt him?”
Even though I want to hold it in, I scoff. “No, Damon. I didn’t hurt Abel, not now or in the future. He’s my brother. I wouldn’t hurt my brother. I don’t know what I have to do to get you to believe me, but no. I did not hurt Abel.”
I shouldn’t take my frustration out on him, but he’s walking on eggshells around me, thinking I would dream of hurting Abel. I would have if Savage asked me tobeforewe got to know him. That would have been my job. Now? I couldn’t bring myself to lay a finger on him.
Even if I wanted to, Savage would kill me if I did.
Pulling his hand back, Damon purses his lips and nods. “I’m sorry. I just … when I saw you alive, I thought Abel was dead. I saw him with my own eyes, so I know that’s not the case. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. Just don’t accuse me of hurting Abel again.” Damon gives me a jerky nod. “Like I said, it was my fault because I was supposed to be protecting Abel, but he gave me the slip and went back to his apartment. His brother, Cris, betrayed him to Savage’s enemies. They’re the ones who kidnapped him.”
Hand flying to his mouth, Damon’s wide eyes are full of shock. “He told me his brother wasn’t the nicest, but I didn’t think— that’s awful. That’s something we bonded over, terrible brothers.” I open my mouth to ask what he means, but he talks over me. “Tell me the rest.”
From there, I tell Damon how Savage, Quin, and I had papers drawn up for us to have new identities, as well as a way for us to disappear. I tell him how we sped up the timeline so we could get Abel back and be in the wind as soon as he was free.
“It was a close thing,” I say, remembering how the Russians outnumbered us two to one, but we didn’t let them get the best of us. “But Savage was able to get him out and we blew up the warehouse. After that, we got out of there, hiding out until we could leave the country. So yeah, we had to lay low, leaving our entire life behind. That’s why Abel couldn’t contact you.”
Damon is silent for a few moments, searching my face. I’m not sure what he can see in the dark, but I don’t shy from his gaze. When he finds what he’s looking for, he nods. Then he grabs my hand, squeezing it. “You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not your fault what happened to Abel. It’s his brother’s.”
Abel, Quin, and Savage have been trying to tell me for years that what happened to him wasn’t my fault. And for years, I’ve been brushing them off, telling them I knew that. I did know, but it didn’t make it any easier, the burden I carried was heavy. But with Damon telling me—a complete stranger, an outsider, someone that has no reason to tell me that—it means the world to me.
It’s like there was a band around my heart and it releases with Damon’s words. I feel free. I feel like I’m still a protector and I can keep someone safe. I feel … almost whole.
“Thank you, Damon,” I say around a lump in my throat. “So, where am I taking you?”
“Juke’s Bar. It’s on—”
“I know where it is, Damon. I did use to live here.” I shoot him a wink and watch his cheeks turn red. He reaches up as if to push his glasses higher on his nose and I think it’s fucking adorable.
