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My family doesn’t expect much. They expect me to do what I’m told and that’s it. I can follow directions. I’m not sure what made me think I can put myself out there and do something like this. James is right—I’m worthless.
Kneeling in front of me, Michael takes my hands. “Tell me what you’re thinking. And don’t say ‘nothing,’” he says quickly when I open my mouth. “I know it’s something. Please, Damon. Please trust me and tell me what’s wrong. I can help. Or at least try. I’m here to take care of you. Let me do that.”
He keeps saying that he wants to take care of me. No one wants to take care of me. I’m the one that takes care of people. My family, at least. I’m at their beck and call—no one is at mine. I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve anything.
I feel the tears try to form and I blink quickly. “Michael, I …”
“Damon, I don’t want to pressure you to tell me anything. I want you to know I’m here for you and you canalwaystalk to me. About anything. If you want to tell me, I’m here. If not, I’ll do what I can to take your mind off it..”
God, how can I not tell him what’s going on? With him being so open and trying to be so helpful, I find myself telling him what I’m thinking. As I talk, I see Michael’s face set in a mask, but I’m not sure what it means.
“I’ve never … felt good enough. You heard James yesterday. He said I’m worthless. And I am. I forget simple things like to check in with him. How can I remember all the things in the manuals to teach twenty people? I’m not smart enough for that. I can’t imagine why Mr. Archer thought it was a good idea to send me. I’m still waiting for the camera to pop out, telling me this is a prank.”
Sighing, Michael sits down on the floor in front of me. “What can I say to get you to believe that none of that is true? I don’t know you well—I can admit that—but Damon, I can see you’re smart. Abel talks about how smart you are. Quin vetted you when Abel said you were his friend and we’ve seen your transcripts.” My eyebrows raise at that admission and Michael has the good grace to look sheepish. “We had to make sure you weren’t affiliated with our enemies. It was a long time ago, but necessary.”
“Okay, that’s book stuff. I can remember to do my class assignments. That’s not the same.”
“No? Tell me something. If there was an event where all the computers shut down and the generators kicked on, how would you go about recovering all your missing work, according to your manuals?”
Almost immediately, I spout the protocol, telling him how to recover lost work that isn’t automatically saved through our frequent saves, which happen every three to five minutes.
“Okay, and what would you do in the event of a data breach, if someone were to steal what you’re working on that isn’t ready for copyright?”
Again, I give the answer. “Go to legal, show the steps the developer was taking and explain the work leading up to the breach. There are codes we submit that can be pulled from—” I stop talking and my eyes grow wide. “You did that on purpose.”
I’m not mad at him. Just surprised that he would take this route.
He shrugs and stands up. Holding his hands out to me, he pulls me flush against his body. “I did. You know this stuff. You know the manual. You’re smart. You just had to hear it for yourself.”
“How do you know I’m right, though?” I ask, my brain wanting so badly to believe him, but something in me is making me feel like it’s not true and I really am stupid.
Michael brushes a soft kiss across my lips. “I helped write the manuals, baby. Not much has changed since Velli Corp was transferred to the new CEO. Savage may have been a mafia boss, but he wasn’t stupid. He wanted Quin and I to know the company, in and out, just in case he needed us to take over one day.”
The breath I was holding whooshes out of me and I hug him tight. The feeling of worthlessness starts to disintegrate, just a little and I feel a weight I don’t even know I was carrying lift from my body.
Because of Michael and his pop quiz.
“Thank you,” I whisper against his chest.
“Anything for you, Damon. Now, let’s get you some breakfast. You have to be at work in an hour.”
Michael quickly makes me a fried egg and bacon sandwich, making sure I eat the whole thing before he lets me leave. Before I step out of the door, he pulls me close to him and kisses me softly and sweetly, making me smile the whole way to Velli Corp.
When I arrive at the building, I’m impressed. It’s smaller than the Velli Corp office in California, but it’s more modern, made up of sleek silver panels and large open windows. The lobby is decorated with futuristic furniture that looks made more for aesthetic purposes than comfort, but it fits the vibe of the building.
I give the receptionist at the desk my name and she makes me a visitor’s badge. By the time she’s finished, my contact, Mrs. Caulder, is downstairs waiting for me. She’s an older Black woman with a motherly face and a plump build. I like her immediately. She makes me think of a mother I lost too young.
“Mr. Reed. So great to meet you. Come, let’s introduce you to the team.”
The rest of the day is a whirlwind of names, software, and training schedules. Everyone here is really nice and welcoming, not really minding that I’m not that talkative. When I do speak, letting them know what we’ll be covering, I have everyone’s undivided attention and what looks like trust. Maybe not in me as a person, but in the knowledge I will impart to them. It makes me feel good and that little part inside of me that says I’m not good enough fades just a bit more.
The workday is short, since there isn’t much set up and I’m here to get things off the ground. Mrs. Caulder walks me to the lobby, smiling gently at me. “You did really well today, Mr. Reed.”
“Damon, please.”
“Well, Damon, I’m Brenda. You really know your stuff. I’ve read those manuals and can’t get a handle on half of the things I read. The way you explained some things really helped me understand what we need to do to make this a good secondary location for Velli Corp. I’m glad Mr. Archer sent you.”
My face heats and I nod, waving to her as I get in the car waiting for me to get back to Michael.
