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“Are you sure you want to go in there?” the lizard demon asked carefully.
“Because it’s the gateway to another realm?” I asked.
“I don’t feel comfortable telling you what you’re already supposed to know,” the horned demon said. “Maybe we should check with headquarters.”
I switched tactics in an effort to earn their trust. “What happened to the two of you? I’m guessing you didn’t volunteer for this post.”
“We were friends before this,” the horned demon began, “which is a good thing because we’re doomed to spend eternity right here next to each other.”
“I wouldn’t say ‘doomed,’ Monty,” the lizard demon said, mildly insulted. “We’ve had some good times.”
“Define good, Jason. I mean, seriously. One minute you’re raiding and pillaging with your demon horde and the next minute your head’s on a spike next to your bestie and you’re decorating the wall of some ogre’s basement.”
I flinched. “Ogre? Bruce wasn’t an ogre.”
“Oh, no,” Jason said. “I meant metaphorically.”
Monty scoffed. “I think you’re being unfair.”
Jason’s eyes narrowed at his friend. “You would’ve chosen this for us?”
“Of course not…”
I interrupted their argument by holding up my hand. “Can we backtrack for a second? Was there anybody else guarding the house before Bruce?”
“No, he was the first,” Monty said. “He’s been here a long time … relative to human years, at least.”
A dragon shifter and then a djinn. Whynotan ogre or even a vampire? What were they protecting?
“There’s a lot of magic at work down here,” I said.
Jason smiled, showing off a set of jagged teeth. “Can you blame them?”
I wasn’t going to get anywhere with the two heads. “You could probably use a break from this wall. Come with me.” I dislodged Jason’s spike from the wall, prompting an objection from Monty. Ignoring him, I held up Jason’s head like a torch, drew a deep breath, and opened the door.
“I don’t want to go in,” Jason wailed. “It’s outside my comfort zone.”
“Tough.” I crossed the threshold and immediately slammed my eyes closed. It was the brightest room I’d ever encountered. It was like the sun was being held in a cage in the basement of the house on Thoreau Street. Once my eyes adjusted, I realized that it wasn’t the sun that was responsible, or even a powerful spotlight.
“Holy pirate’s booty,” I said in a voice of pure awe. I was right about the alternate realm. The room was more of a never-ending cavern than a basement, and within its center was a mountain of gold.
“It isn’t pirate’s booty,” Jason said.
“Ghost pirate?”
“Nope.”
“Vampire pirate?”
“I’d love that, but no.”
I couldn’t decide which direction to walk. Everywhere I looked sparkled with gold, and now that my eyes had adjusted, I noticed silver and gemstones mixed in too. “No wonder this place is so heavily secured.”
“Monty and I are the last layer of security.”
“How are you security?”
“Just because we’re disembodied doesn’t mean we’re powerless. Didn’t they tell you that either?” He shook his head. “Has there been a corporate takeover or something? Somebody needs to get fired.” He hesitated. “Not you, though. You seem nice.” He sniffed me. “And you smell like you could kick my ass, if I still had one.”
