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“Would you rather I say Minor Arcana? That works too.” He flicked the black boa wrapped casually around Gun’s neck. “Your scarf has seen better days.”
Camryn suppressed a laugh.
Gun cast her an aggrieved look. “Whose side are you on?”
“Yours,” she said. “I’m laughing because he called it a scarf. He’s too stupid to know better.”
The stupid one turned his attention to Camryn. “Still wolfing down Nerds like they’re made of candy?”
Gun rolled his eyes. “Theyarecandy.”
The funeral crasher turned his attention to me. “I don’t know you.”
“No, you don’t.”
“This is Lorelei Clay,” Gun intervened. “She isn’t one of us.” His tone suggested heavy ‘back off’ vibes.
He snarled at me. “Are you the one who put the target on his back?”
“We don’t know that Diamond was killed by a professional, Alfie,” Camryn said. “It’s all speculation.”
Alfie swayed gently, and I worried the slightest breeze might blow him over. “It’s because you want his spot, isn’t it?” He was close enough now that I could smell the alcohol on his breath.
“I had nothing to do with his death,” I said. “And I’m not angling for his spot.”
“She isn’t an assassin,” Gun told him.
Alfie poked Gun in the chest. “I challenge you to a duel.”
Gun tilted his head back, appearing to pray for strength. “We don’t have any cards on us,” he finally said.
“Guess you’ll need to use that weak-ass scarf as a noose.” Alfie laughed like a dying hyena.
Gun began to unwrap the boa from his neck. “Why don’t I test its efficacy right now?”
Camryn stayed his arm. “No fighting, Gun. You know the rules.”
“The funeral is over. Security is gone.”
She nodded toward the grave. “Why don’t you pay your respects to Charles and be on your way, Alfie? Nobody wants to deal with your shit today.”
Alfie stared at the grave for a moment and let out a loud belch. “There’ll never be another Charles Diamond.”
“Thank the gods for that,” Gun mumbled.
Alfie seemed uncertain what to do next. “Where’s the nearest bar?”
“Didn’t you come from there?” I asked.
“I took an Uber from the city.”
Gun spun him around and pointed him toward the exit. “Then I suggest you take one back there.”
Alfie fumbled to retrieve his phone from his pocket. Gun commandeered the phone and tapped the screen. “Let’s get you a nice UberX.”
“I prefer comfort,” Alfie said.
“There. All taken care of.” Gun steered Alfie out of the cemetery.
