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“Sorry. What?” she asked, looking back at him. His dark hair was whipping about his stern face, making him seem more like a warrior of old than ever.
“Are you okay? You are looking panicked,” he said. He made a small gesture with one hand, and the roar of the wind disappeared like they had an invisible cabin around them.
Magic boat, Ella reminded herself.
“I thought you would be used to boats. You should have told me if you’re scared of them,” Mananan said softly.
Ella wiped the sea spray from her cheeks. “I’m not scared of them. Not really. I just haven’t been on one since my parents died. I thought I would be okay.”
Mananan’s intense eyes softened. “You want to tell me about it?”
“I can tell you the short version,” Ella said. She blew out a tight breath and pushed her emotions aside. “Okay, so I grew up on the water. My parents and I used to go out on their boat all the time. I was never afraid of it. I loved the sea. This one day when I was seven years old, we went for a day of fishing and got caught in a storm. The boat capsized, and my dad went down with it. My mother managed to hang on to me, and we floated on the hull. It was so fucking cold.
“My mother held me between her and the boat to keep warm. She went to sleep, and I was pinned there underneath her. I couldn’t… I couldn’t wake her up. Late the next day, my grandmother and the Coast Guard found us. My mother was dead, and I had been trapped beneath her for twenty hours.”
Ella wiped at her cheeks and took a shuddery breath. “Afterwards, I couldn’t handle to be touched. My gifts went crazy; my hair turned white, and I haven’t been on the water since.”
“Fuck, Ella,” Mananan whispered. That was all. Not that he was sorry or any of the other shit people tried to say when they found out. It made her crush burn that little bit hotter.
“I thought I would be okay out here with you,” she said, staring at the water. “You make me feel…safe.”
“I’m glad that I do. Nothing is going to hurt you out here, Ella. I promise you. This boat won’t ever tip, and I will always keep you safe,” Mananan swore, his blue eyes flashing bright with magic.
Ella smiled and hugged herself. “I know, Mananan. It’s why I’m here. I’m okay, just feeling it.”
“Then feel it, Ella. Don’t be embarrassed by your trauma or that you miss them. I know what loss is like. It never leaves you.”
“You just learn to live with it,” she said.
Mananan nodded. “As best you can. We are coming up to the portal and will need to dive under the waves. The ship will keep you safe, but it might knock you about. You need to hang on or come and sit with me so you don’t get thrown about.”
“After traveling with Bayn, I don’t trust myself to be strong enough to hang on properly. It was like a rollercoaster with no breaks. I don’t want to end ass up in the air with a concussion.” Ella pushed aside her sadness and moved to the back of the boat to sit beside him.
“Now that would be a sight,” Mananan chuckled. “You can hang on to me if you need to.”
“Your mental shields are up?”
“Around you? Always,” he reassured her and distracted her with a wink. “Think it’s better for the both of us that you’re not seeing what goes on in my head.”
The wink made Ella go hot, and she was suddenly glad he couldn’t see inside of hers either.
The boat slowed, and the front of it began to tip downward. Ella grabbed on to Mananan’s bicep and shut her eyes.
“The water can’t get in. Just watch,” Mananan said, and she could hear the laughter in his voice. Ella peeked open an eye. The gray blue water was rushing up the invisible barrier around the boat. They plunged under the waves, and the world went silent.
Ella stared about her in awe. “This is what I feel when my magic tries to read you. Watery silence.”
“It’s because I hide down here when I need the peace and quiet. I love my family and how big it has gotten, but I was without them for a long time, and the noise gets to be too much at times. I know Oberon feels the same way,” Mananan replied. He moved the tiller, aiming the boat for a destination only he could find.
“I know exactly what you mean. If I could hide down here, I probably would too.” Ella leaned a little closer to him.
“I can bring you down whenever you like,” Mananan offered. “You’d have to put up with my presence though.”
“I don’t mind. You don’t hurt my brain to be around,” Ella admitted.
“I feel the same way about you, little one.” Mananan’s arm shifted and went around her. “Hold on. We are about to go through the portal.”
Ella wrapped her hands around him and breathed in his scent of salt and smoke and man. It was a comforting smell that reminded her of home.
