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The stress of the last few weeks hit her hard, and tears welled up in Zori's eyes. She pulled her knees to her chest and let it out. She cried for her mother and for never searching for the truth about her earlier. She cried for all the good times she'd had with Maxim and all the horror of finding out that she had only ever been a valuable experiment to him. She cried for poor Misha, who had been tortured for years, and the women who were still lost.
What if they had children like Zori? They would have no idea who they were either. She hadn't known any better. She should have fought for her freedom earlier. Now she had no idea what to do with her life. She had magic she couldn't use and wings that she didn't know how to fly with.
You won't find out weeping in a bathtub,she told herself firmly.
She missed Vladik. He seemed to ground her and keep her from spiraling. She could smell him on her skin, taste him in her mouth. It was like he had imprinted himself onto her, and not having him with her hurt.
Zori washed her face with the warm water and picked up one of the tiny blue soaps. She needed to pull herself together and make herself presentable. Irina had answers that she needed about her mother, magic, and Morana.
Zori refused to be a snotty, weeping mess when she faced her again. She pushed aside the ache in her chest that she didn't understand even though she knew what it wanted.
She would see Vladik tomorrow. He had his own family to see, and wanting to keep him by her side was just selfish.
Zori unraveled her braids and washed her hair. She tried and failed not to think about Vladik's clawed fingers in them hours before. Her treacherous body missed him as much as she did.
With a sigh, Zori got out of the bath and got dressed. She found a brush in one of the drawers and used it to get the knots out of her hair. She studied her face in the mirror. Her eyes and lips were a bit red from crying, but she didn't look too bad.
"You can do this," she told her reflection. If she could escape from a tower full of guards, how hard could a conversation with her grandmother be?
20
It turned out having a conversation with Irina was worse.
"Have you been having sex with Vladislav?" Irina asked Zori as soon as she sat down at a scarred wooden table. She almost tumbled off the bench seat.
"Ahhh," she said, wondering how to answer. "Depends on what you classify as sex. Also, I don't know why it's any of your business?"
Maxim never asked about what she got up to on those nights she went out. He probably guessed.
"I don't mean to offend you," Irina replied, placing a steaming bowl of stew and a plate of sliced bread in front of her. "I ask for a few reasons. The first is that Vladik told me that you found him when you shifted. Can you tell me what happened?"
Zori wanted answers about other things, so she had to meet Irina halfway. "I don't know how much of it will make sense, but I'll try."
Zori ate and talked, explaining about the medication Maxim had given her to stop her from shifting and what had happened the night of the escape. She told her about Alisa's suicide and how she'd leaped off the same balcony at the mysterious woman's instructions.
Zori still couldn't find the right words to describe the threads of golden light that had led her to Vladik. She’d only known that she had to get to him. There was a dull ache in her bones when she talked about him. She knew it was silly to be missing him already, but she couldn't help it.
Irina listened without interruption. When Zori was done, Irina fetched a bottle of vodka and two small glasses. Irina downed her glass without ceremony.
"I'm going to kill Maxim once and for all," Irina said, filling the glass again.
"You're probably going to have to get in line at this point," Zori replied. She cradled her drink. Getting wasted wouldn't help her feel any better. "Can you tell me how I found Vladik?"
Irina blinked back her tears. "It's an instinct for us, especially during our first shift. We seek out the people who connect us to our humanity and who we know we are safest with. When we choose a mate, it's a way for us to always find them."
"A mate?"
Irina lifted a brow. "Vladik hasn't told you about this?"
"Not really. He said that swan wives can shift without their capes if they are mated, but that's about it."
Irina hummed, a small smile on her face. "That's interesting. It could explain why you two haven't had sex yet, but you smell like him."
"Um, okay." Zori drank some of her vodka. She wasn't shy about sex, but talking to her grandmother about it was weird as fuck.
"The females of our people choose their mates, not the other way around," Irina explained. "The power in you knows who is going to be the best protector for you. If Vladik hasn't mentioned this, it's probably because he understands your position here better than you do. You are my family, and a chosen one of Morana."
"So? What's that got to do with anything?" Zori asked, brows drawing together.
