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“Thank you,” Ellie replied, as she found herself tearing up a bit. It was strange to get such sincere praise from Sarah, who gave it so rarely. “I couldn’t have done it without everyone’s help, including yours.”
“Well, that was the point of this place, wasn’t it? To all work together—a family effort.”
“Yes… and you’re part of that, too, Sarah.” Tentatively, Ellie laid a hand on her sister-in-law’s arm; this was new territory for both of them. “Whatever we can do to help you and Mairi and Owen through this… we do want to help. I can’t imagine how hard it must be.”
“Thank you.” Sarah cleared her throat as she discreetly wiped her eyes and Ellie removed her hand from her arm. “Right, well, that’s enough of that,” she said, making Ellie smile. “Now, let’s go deal with these bedrooms!”
CHAPTER17
SARAH
A WEEK LATER
Can we talk?
Sarah stood alone in the kitchen, staring at the text for a few seconds before she slowly, letter by letter, deleted it. She wasn’t sure what she wanted from Nathan right now, but it was more than what those three words offered. She also, she knew, didn’t want her request to be rebuffed. She could already imagine Nathan’s reply:Now’s not a good timeorIf you really want to.No thanks to either of those.
And yet… theyneededto talk. It had been over two weeks now since he’d moved out, and basically ghosted her, his wife of twenty years. She could hardly believe it, and would have felt hurt if she wasn’t so numb. But numb was good; when she wasn’t numb, she felt completely despairing, like a week ago, when she’d left her car at the stables and walked all the way to the inn in something close to a fugue state. She hadn’t been able to think about what she was doing or why; she’d just concentrated on putting one foot in front of another, because that had been all she’d been capable of.
Still, when Ellie had stumbled upon her in the kitchen, basically having a mini breakdown, Sarah had actually been sort of glad. It had felt a relief to confess what was going on, what a shambles she’d made of her life, ofherself. She hadn’t been brave enough to say as much to her mother—not yet, anyway—but Ellie had provided a kind, listening ear, and she’d appreciated her sister-in-law’s thoughtful concern. Maybe this was a new page for both of them.
They’d spent the rest of the afternoon going through the bedrooms, making a list of little embellishments that wouldn’t cost too much, and finding a few things in other parts of the house—a vase, a picture—that helped make the rooms look a little more put together. Sarah had enjoyed the distraction, and she’d enjoyed the time with Ellie, too. She’d learned to get along with her sister-in-law over the years, but she’d assumed they were too different to truly be friends—that afternoon she’d started to believe otherwise. Maybe they weren’t as different as she’d once thought they were. Not anymore.
Sarah glanced down at her phone again. She and Nathan really did need to talk, if just to figure out how to manage their children. Mairi was still teetering on the edge of a meltdown; seeing a counselor was helping, Sarah hoped, but Nathan’s abrupt removal from her life had certainly added to her anxiety. And as for Owen… he was so silent, so surly. He’d never been the most talkative lad, it was true, but he’d had an easygoing and friendly nature, and now Sarah felt as if she barely recognized him. She couldn’t blame Nathan for that, not entirely, but his distance didn’t help matters.
Sarah closed her eyes briefly, then snapped them open and started composing another text.
It would be good to talk through some things, figure a way forward. When are you free?
She studied the text; it was fairly innocuous, but also, she hoped, pointed. They couldn’t exist in this stasis for much longer; at leastshecouldn’t. Nathan seemed to be okay with it, as far as she could tell.
She pressed send.
Sarah had just put her phone down and pulled out a packet of pasta when Mairi flung open the front door, throwing down her backpack and giving Sarah a malevolent look before she stomped upstairs.
“Are you hungry?” Sarah called after her, doing her best to keep her voice pleasant. “Tea will be in about half an hour.”
The only sound was the slam of Mairi’s bedroom door. Sarah suppressed a much-needed sigh. She’d read online all about marriage problems and divorce and how they affected children, and Mairi blaming her was pretty much textbook. It didn’t make it any easier to live with in the day to day, but it did give Sarah a modicum of patience she knew she needed.
Owen came into the kitchen after his sister, throwing down his bag too as he went to the fridge in search of snacks.
“Tea’s in half an hour,” Sarah said again. “How was your day?”
He shrugged, his back to her. “Okay.”
That, Sarah knew, was as much as she would get. What happened with teenagers? she wondered. She’d once had these lovely, adorable cuddly children who threw themselves into her arms and promised her they’d love her forever, and then somehow, just a few years later, they’d turned into angry, monosyllabicbeasts. The old her would have assumed she’d navigate the trials of teenagerhood with ease and aplomb. The new one recognized just how hard that was.
“How’s Ben doing?” she asked her son. “I didn’t realize until I spoke to Aunt Ellie that he’d been involved in that bullying incident, too.”
Owen made a grunting sort of noise, and Sarah took a deep breath, let it out slowly.
“Owen, please turn around and face me while we’re talking.”
“Iwasn’t talking,” he replied, but at least he did turn around.
“So, it was you and Ben and one other boy,” she continued steadily. The school had refused to give names, and so had Owen. “Who was the other boy?”
He fidgeted restlessly for a minute before admitting with a shrug, “Luke.”
