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“He might change his mind,” Gwen felt compelled to point out.
“He might,” Sarah agreed, “although, right now, I’m seriously doubting that.” She didn’t want to entirely give up on her marriage, but right now she felt too dispirited about the state of it to offer any further optimism. “And, in any case,” she finished, “I can’t live my life waiting for him to come back. I need todosomething.”
Gwen had a mental image of Sarah cutting up Nathan’s suits, or throwing all his belongings out the window. Her daughter had to be furious as well as deeply hurt, but she was acting as level-headed as usual. Almost.
“What are you thinking you’d like to do?” she asked.
“I don’t know.” Sarah let out a sigh. “Nathan aside, I haven’t been very happy for a while now. Not because of him, but because of me. And I want to change that.” She pursed her lips before admitting, “I’m thinking about quitting my job.”
Gwen managed to mask her surprised alarm at this news. Quitting your job when you might be about to get divorced did not seem like the smartest move, and definitely very unlike Sarah, but maybe that was the point. “All right,” she agreed equably. “What would you do instead?”
“I have no idea.” Sarah slid her a glance that was almost amused. “This doesn’t sound like me at all, does it?”
“No,” Gwen replied with an answering smile, “but based on what you’ve been saying, that’s not necessarily a bad thing…” She raised her eyebrows in query and Sarah nodded slowly as she took a sip of her coffee.
“No,” she agreed as she set the cup down, resolve hardening her voice even as her expression lightened. “It’s not.”
CHAPTER19
ELLIE
The sharp, clean scent of fir tree filled the house as Matthew and Ben staggered through the back door, the Christmas tree held between them. Needles were dropping everywhere, but Ellie could clean those up easily enough. Daisy pranced around them, barking excitedly at all the commotion.
“Careful… easy does it… watch that vase!” Ellie called as they maneuvered the tree through the hall and into the sitting room. The tree for the photo shoot hadn’t lasted, of course, and this one was fresh and new, smelling wonderful and ready for the guests that were coming in just a few days, one week before Christmas.
Ellie could hardly believe how the time had flown by. It had felt as if someone had pushed the fast-forward button—on every aspect of life. The biggest news, of course, was Matthew’s job, or at least the possibility of it.
The night Sarah had come over with Mairi and Owen, he’d been on the phone for over an hour; Ellie had assumed that was a good sign—for him—but she wasn’t completely sure, just as she couldn’t decide how she felt about it all, especially when there was so much to do.
Finally, when everyone else had gone to bed, and Ellie was curled up in the sitting room, watching the last embers of the fire flicker to ash, Matthew had come downstairs. His expression had been composed, a bit guarded, and Ellie hadn’t been able to tell a thing from it.
“Well?” she’d finally asked, when it had seemed as if he wasn’t actually going to say anything.
“They want to fly me over for a final interview, but it’s looking positive. Very positive.” His voice had been filled with quiet pride. “They want to fly you over, too.”
“Me?” Ellie had straightened up, shocked. “Why me?”
“Because they want to make sure this move works for both of us, and for the whole family.” His expression had turned earnest, hopeful. “This is a small, bespoke company, Ellie, but a good one, and they have a great personal touch. They care about their employees.” Unlike the last behemoth of an organization he’d worked for, who hadn’t seemed to care about them at all.
Ellie had been more than half-expecting the news that they’d want him to come, but she still felt overwhelmed by the reality of it, its seeming suddenness, even though they’d been waiting for news for weeks. “When?” she’d finally asked, because she hadn’t known what else to say.
“I said I couldn’t do before Christmas, because of the inn. So, first week of January, ideally.”
“You said that?” She’d been touched, that he would put the inn first, over something clearly so very important to him. She’d also been glad he had, because she absolutely had not been able to imagine dropping everything to jet over to New York.
“Yes, they were fine with it. They’re really…” He’d blown out a breath, smiled. “They’re really great that way.”
Ellie had felt a lurch of tangled emotion—affection for Matthew, pleasure and pride that he’d been given this opportunity, one he deserved, but also fear. Terror, really, because New York? Their family? Movingagain? Leaving Gwen, Sarah, the inn, their whole life here?
“So, will that work?” Matthew had asked. “First week of January? Mum will probably be able to watch the kids.”
Ellie had gazed at the dying fire, taken a deep breath. This was important to Matthew, she’d reminded herself, and she needed to be as considerate of him, with this job, as he’d been with her and the inn. “Yes,” she’d said, turning to smile up at him. “That will work.”
Now, as Matthew and Ben wrestled the tree into its stand, she was trying not to think about the trip to New York in just a few weeks. They hadn’t even told the children about it yet; somehow there hadn’t been the time, even though, really, Ellie knew they should have made it. It was important, important enough that they needed a quiet space, without the normal chaos of a big family, so they could explain, listen, reassure. But, right now, they had a tree to decorate, and the Christmas season to enjoy.
Ellie had loved this time of year since moving to Wales—the cold, crisp days, the lights decorating the village and the massive Christmas tree on the green. She loved browsing the shops in Abergavenny or Monmouth while Christmas carols played and she picked out presents. The inn had been full of wonderful, Christmassy smells—cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger. Gwen always seemed to have a tray of something delicious in the oven. And now the most important bit—the tree!
“Right, Ava,” Ellie said to her youngest daughter, who was dancing around on her tiptoes, desperate to start decorating their Christmas tree. “I think we’re almost ready to hang the ornaments.”
