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The hollow heart that showed itself the moment she was within reach back on Earth, is full now, but there’s a hole that shouldn’t exist. It leaks like black tar, burning its way through my veins with each dying star above.??
She must feel it too.??
The strain on her gift, the chains wrapping themselves around it—punishment from the fates for denying the gift it gave me—not that she even knows what her gift feels like.??
But I will win the war against my mind, even if the reasons are now different than they were an hour ago.
I will give up the little doll, whose perfection I'm teased with.?
I can’t keep you, little London.??
My fingers twitch to touch what’s mine the moment I think it, so I call on the winds above, gliding it along her cheek.??
Her lips curve in her sleep and I have to look away.??
Just hours ago, I had her wrapped around my cock. Now, it feels different. Like a goodbye.
I bring the lip of the bottle to my mouth, unable to take my eyes off her silk skin. Her leg is propped out of her sheets, in direct line of the heavy moonlight breaking through the starlight glass above. This isn’t what I wanted, but I know I’m backed into a corner with no fucking choice.
Placing the now empty bottle of Scotch on the table beside me, I stand to my full height. I can still smell her all around me, her stench clinging to me like it belongs there. Because it does. Everything about London belongs to me, even her anger and wrath. I’d wrap that shit in my arms and let her implode against my touch. Fuck, but I hated her.
But I hated even more that I didn’t hate her at all.
Hissing, I grind my teeth and close the distance between us until her bed hits my shins. Leaning forward, I move her blonde hair away from her cheek and stiffen when she rolls to her back, her silk robe parting and exposing her flawless flesh. Two perfectly pink nipples stare back at me, her toned belly tensing when she widens her legs.
“Fuck...” I growl, lightly running the tip of my finger over the inside of her exposed thigh. It’s not heat that crawls through my entire body at the simple touch, it’s ice.
Like frost being sprinkled through my blood. I need her. But I can’t have her. I don’t deserve her, and she doesn’t want me.
She would never want me.
“You make a habit of watching me while I sleep?” she whispers sleepily, but her body doesn’t move.
“Sometimes. Other times I come in your mouth and you don’t even know it.”
She has no smart remark, just stares, a sadness I can’t stand in her eyes. “Knight?”
I lower myself down onto the edge of the bed, trying hard to refocus on the lone tub that’s sitting in the middle of the room. Only I start to imagine London in that tub naked and all the different ways I could fuck her in and around it.
I clear my throat.
“I don’t want to hate you, but I do.” Her words bring me back to the present. London is a hard woman, and she doesn’t soften her edges for anyone. I loved that about her. She’d take whatever she fucking wanted and didn’t give a fuck what that looked like to anyone. I would say narcissistic if she didn’t have so many admirable traits that pushed against the term.
She must roll to the side because the bed moves beneath me.
“I’m going to hate you forever, Knight. I know me.” Her voice drowned with sleep.
I have to fight with myself to not look at her to see if she’s even really awake. I know this, but knowing and listening to the words as they leave her lips is very fucking different.
“I’m never going to forgive you and I’m going to make your life miserable.” The final word is a ghost of syllables on her mouth, and when I turn to finally look at her, I’m surprised to see her eyes weak on mine. “So, for right now, can you just lie with me.”
It’s like a punch to the gut, only the fist is holding C4 and it explodes inside of me.
Kicking off my shoes, I slide beneath the covers, holding my breath when she moves over for me. Her energy gentle when she lowers her head on my chest, and I finally release the breath I was holding in. The first in fucking weeks.
London and I have been many of things, but gentle toward one another is not one of them. I squeeze my eyes closed as images flash inside my head from earlier. Thetruthrunning through my mind like a reminder of how fucking stupid I’ve been. How blind.Tricked.
She lifts her leg on top of mine and I slightly part my legs to give her more access. Silence beats between us, her heart thudding against my ribcage. I turn slightly, just as she curves her head to look up at me. I catch her lips with mine. Fire erupts deep in my chest and my hand finds her hair, fisting it against her scalp. She moans softly as I gently lift her. She straddles my waist without breaking the kiss, her tongue diving into my mouth and caressing mine. I shift my hands higher up her thighs, moving her silk gown until my hands land on her ass.
