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Prologue
Deception is bitter pill to swallow. As difficult as it was for me to fathom, I had to face the reality that the Council had been dismantled in a well-executed attack. Adolfo and Lenora’s futures were unreadable to me, utterly black. Their void could only mean one thing: they had met their final death. There was no other option. Sofia had been badly injured in what was being labeled as an unfortunate gas explosion by the media at the Carriage House in the Upper East Side.
Truth be known, I had come close to meeting my own death that day as well. If not for my last minute vision of the building exploding into a fireball, Nigel, Amir and I would have perished, disintegrating into a pile of ash. We had all been lured to the Carriage House under the guise of an emergency meeting.
There had been no meeting for us to attend. Only death had been there to greet us.
Logically, I knew there was only one person that could have been responsible for the destruction of the Council. They had everything to gain and nothing to lose. It was the very same vampire that wanted their secrets to burn along with the building, the written logs of their disturbing experiments and lies being consumed by the fiery inferno. The mastermind behind this would be facing an unpleasant surprise when he would learn of our survival. He would have not expected any of us to walk away alive. This is what happens when greed and the need for power overtakes common sense. I had watched my own maker succumb to the same sort of madness hundreds of years ago. Many were not suited for immortality. Centuries of death could destroy the strongest of minds and resolve.
There is no secret, no reason I should not lay it on the line. I knew exactly who masterminded this entire fiasco. It was none other than my beloved’s father, Kian Ahearne.
Unbeknownst to Kian, I had copies of his journals and tomes locked away for my own safekeeping. Someday soon, we would need this proof. He had grown sloppy, careless with his authority. His arrogance would be his downfall. I had insured Josephine's safety by his own recklessness. At some point, this safely hidden evidence would be his final demise and if I were lucky, he would die at my hands. It would be a sort of poetic justice that he would meet his end at the same hands that had killed hundreds, if not thousands of innocent vampires at his final command.
Revenge would be sweet; however, it would be a pittance to the turmoil he’d caused over the centuries. It kept my mind focused as we spent hours navigating through the underground tunnels to make it to the surface to safety. The only thing that kept me motivated to return was Josephine. Amir’s presence may have broken our bond, but I could feel my love for her urging me to continue, the promise of her survival my motivation.
Josephine. The love of my existence would soon be mine in every way possible: my lover, my mate and my wife. My dead heart sang with the knowledge as I trudged through the bowels of the city.
Kian had disappeared after the fire, leading us all to believe he too had perished. I found it difficult to believe he was truly dead. He was much too crafty to not have had an escape plan in place. Yet even as his daughter lay motionless on our bed, changing into her true mortal existence, I was on guard as he had not been seen for nor heard from for two days. Like a cockroach, he would show himself under the cloak of darkness when he felt it was secure. He would have formed a safety net of some sort. He had vampires assisting him.
Kian’s power gave him the upper hand. He was a powerful shield, much like Josephine. While her power could manifest physically, he could shield himself and his intentions quite well. We were playing a dangerous game of Russian roulette. Each time we met, the barrel was spun.
For now, we had to remain vigilant. We could not let our guard down for a moment. He would be ready to pick off each of us, one by one. As I sat at Josephine’s bedside, my long dead heart was heavy with the knowledge that we would be at the top of his list. If he separated or killed one of us, the other would simply wither away. The bond that tied us together so strongly could ultimately be our biggest vulnerability.
There would have to be revenge. There were many ways to achieve it and equally as many ways to pay for it. I had witnessed the evil one man was capable of carrying out. It was now my choice to act and pay the hefty price for keeping those I love safe.
Chapter 1 - I Was Dying To Get To You
"I'm dying to be with you..."
The words were on repeat in my mind like a broken record...an endless echo of my hastily spoken promise played through my mind.
It could have been hours, days, months, years...time ceased to exist. Or at least the way I recalled time existing. As I drifted between consciousness, I vividly remembered telling Stefan I was dying to be with him... and the desperation of feeling his arms enclose around me, the soul crushing sounds of his dry sobs wracking his strong body. Even as I slipped away into this state of in between, neither human nor immortal, I thought it unfair and cruel that this beautiful, strong man was suffering because of me. It was then I became enveloped in all compassing darkness, the searing pain of my body making its immortal changes, my new reality. Underneath the agony was my driving desire to be back at his side. It was an obsession that was like a fever, burning me up inside.
My heart had long given up the battle. It lay silent in my chest, my body held in place as if it was restrained with wire cables, keeping me tethered to this strange version of reality. My lungs felt heavy, sluggish. Every raspy breath I drew was a struggle, like making the attempt to breathe underwater. It was then I realized I no longer had the need to do it. But I focused on simply trying to inhale and exhale because it was something concrete and normal I could feel and do. And I wanted to feel something...anything.
Anything.
I'd fade in and out of consciousness, lost in a dream like state as I lay immobile. I'd awake occasionally to feel Stefan's hand on mine, only to drift further into a blackness where nothing existed except the strange flashes of memories. Laughter. The smell of salt water. Cool, crisp wind running through my hair. Loving, calloused skin on my own. The tast
e of his sweet kisses...running into strong arms that were open wide, waiting for me. In this dream, the sun glinted off his much longer blond hair. His human, steady heart strummed against my chest when he swept me in his arms.
Was I dead? Had I found a heaven that reunited me with a human version of the love of my life?
Just when I'd grown accustomed to the lulling sense of numbness and bright flashes of memories, the true brunt of my pain began. It settled over my chest and with every labored, unnecessary breath I took, the agony spread over my shoulders and into my neck, each surge spread the pain further into my limbs.
There were times when the pain was unbearable and I simply wanted to scream out for relief. Yet I had no release; I couldn't find my voice to even whimper. Eventually the agony spread lower until my entire body was engulfed in pain, a blazing wildfire of flames that seemed to have engulfed me entirely.
My new existence was one of compete and utter misery. Had it been this way for Stefan, for Lukas or Anna? Not one had mentioned this sort of blinding, never-ending agony. Relying on my ability to meditate, I focused, becoming attuned on the things I could hear and smell around me. Soon, I was able to isolate the rush of Stefan speaking to me, his smooth, lilting voice the only constant calm in the storm, keeping me anchored to some sort of reality. And my mind clung to him, petrified that I would never find relief from this turmoil I was in. Unable to understand his words, I was happy that his voice alone seemed to soothe me.
I would find a way back to him. There was no other option.
Seconds, minutes, possibly hours passed and the never-ending pain raged on, seemingly with no end in sight. I heard the quick footsteps of Lukas enter the bedroom. I was amazed to find that already my sense of hearing and smell had improved dramatically. Lukas smelled of leather and the comforting smell of parchment. I knew instinctively I'd be able to pick out the sound of his footfalls easily, even in a crowded room.
"Stefan, ze zal perfect zijn. Je maakt je teveel zorgen," his voice assured him, sighing loudly. “Je moet niet om haar heen blijven hangen als een of ander lulletje rozenwater.”
They spoke in an odd language; one I'd never heard them converse in before. It was obvious they'd chosen an unfamiliar dialect so they could talk over me in their attempt to communicate and keep me blissfully unaware of their conversation. But even though I couldn't understand them, my mind could picture a vivid image of Lukas with his hands on his hips and his eyebrow raised in mock aggravation at what he perceived Stefan's 'hovering' to be. Stefan's entire demeanor would be stoic and solemn; his broad shoulders would be tense and his chiseled face grim. Part of me wanted to laugh at Lukas and reach for Stefan to reassure him…however, my base instincts told me that any movement would be like daggers in my tender flesh.
“Ze is mijn levensgezel en mijn leven. Het is mijn taak om me zorgen te maken over haar veiligheid," Stefan argued, the words booming through the room. His deep voice seemed to curl around the strange words. "Ik voel haar pijn alsof het de mijne is. Wij hebben nooit deze onverdraagelijke pijn gevoeld tijdens onze transformative. Wat als er iets mis is? Ik weiger het om haar te verliezen.”
“Oh Stefan, verdomme. Luister dan naar haar hart. Ze is aan het veranderen en er is niets mis." I heard Lukas' heavy exaggerated exhale. “Het zijn dagen als deze dat ik me afvraag wie de meester is in deze relatie, en wie het kind."
"Dat is genoeg Lukas." Stefan commanded icily. "Jij maakte je ook zorgen om Anna tijdens haar verandering. Waarom maak je je niet evenveel zorgen om Josephine?"
"Anna was different and you know it. Josie is a fighter. She's strong. You should've known Josie would be different," he said, switching over to English as he chuckled. "She's more than human. Are you sure you're ready for this, Stefan? The human Josie will be gone."
I could only listen and mentally agree with him. Lukas was right. Leave it to me to make the immortal change different and difficult. Another wave of pain washed over me and at the same time, the scent of Stefan hit me, comforting me. I always knew he smelled good to me, just not this delectable. I could never pinpoint exactly what it was, but now I could. He smelled like home; earthy sandalwood and now I could clearly smell the distinctive smell of the ocean...brine and sand mixed with the sweet aroma of honeysuckle.
