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Digging the key out of my jean pocket, I swiftly unlocked the door and pushed it open, unprepared for the deluge of memories to hit me like a punch to my gut.

Crossing the threshold, my eyes took in the darkened room. Overwhelmed at the emotion of being back in my childhood home, my legs swayed for a moment. My keener sense of smell was able to pick up the faint scent of my aunt and uncle in the house after five years of vacancy. Squaring my shoulders, I reached over and flipped on a light switch, flooding the room with bright light. Like ripping off a band-aide, I knew the faster I did this the better. But it didn’t stop the pain that gripped my silent heart as I walked from room to room.

During my slow exploration of the familiar house, I was never alone. Stefan shadowed behind me, his soothing presence the only thing that kept me from coming completely unhinged and kept me tethered to reality. He was my safe harbor, the calm in the storm that raged within me.

The rooms were mostly empty, the remaining furniture covered with heavy sheets. They each brought back a different memory, some more difficult to bear than others. By the time I reached my bedroom, I was close to losing my feeble grip on my emotions. This was the only intact room in the house. My double bed was stripped and covered with the same heavy drop cloth, but seeing the bookcase lined with books, the trinkets from my childhood, the faded candid snap shots of myself with Garrett and Meredith caused a broken sob to catch in my throat. I’d left them behind, wanting to leave the hurt along with them. Now they were like a slap in the face, reminding me of what I’d lost.

There were so many memories and they all seemed to hit me at once. I was trying my best to remember only the good; but in the back of my mind, rage was throbbing like a toothache. One vampire had destroyed the only family I knew and it was my own father.

Bitter and seething, I dropped on the edge on the bed, sending a fine mist of dust to scatter in the air around the room. Stefan went to the window, pushing the curtains aside and opening it, letting clean, fresh air flow into the stuffy room. He only lingered at the window a moment before he slowly approached me, stopping only to stand before me, towering over me. Twisting my hands carelessly in my lap, I stared vacantly up into his concerned face. His blue eyes were locked on me. He crouched down at my feet and I reached for him, sighing as I felt the comfort of his arms encircle my waist tightly. His warm breath tickled my neck and his soft lips kissed the soft, sensitive spot behind my ear.

I knew he wanted me to say something, to verbalize the pain I felt as I toured my childhood home, but I simply didn't have it in me at the moment. He sensed it and wisely just held me, allowing me to have my moment and was willing to wait for me to speak.

"I feel like an outsider here. I didn't expect to feel like this, Stefan," I said in a halting rush, pressing my forehead against his and squeezing my eyes closed. “This was my home. And somehow Kian has managed to taint every memory I have. Every. Fucking. Memory.”

Seething inside, my fingers gripped the shoulders of his shirt as I fought with the last bit of restraint I possessed. He rose so our faces were almost level and the tender, yet brief brush of his lips across mine set fire to my soul.

"Confronting your past after your change is always difficult. Your knowledge that Kian was responsible for their death makes it worse. We will not talk. You do not have to worry," he crooned softly against my lips, his voice laced with understanding and comfort. "Tell me what you need, vackra. Whatever I have is yours. You know this."

His selfless offering diffused my pent up anger and my body trembled as I let out a rush of air. I knew that I sounded needy, but I didn’t care. I finally begged him for what I needed. "Kiss me. And don't stop…I need to feel something real. I want to feel like I belong somewhere."

A muscle in his chiseled jaw clenched and the intensity in his eyes gleamed brilliantly. His hands gripped my hips. “You do belong somewhere. You belong with me. Your place is at my side, for an eternity.”

Releasing a breathless moan, his words did nothing but incite me. “Then show me I belong.” My lip trembled as my voice wavered. “Show me…”

Sliding closer, I leaned over him as he did exactly as I asked. He kissed me with a gentle, languid kiss, trying to slow my frantic pace down. He knew what I needed better than I did. He was willing to put me back together after helplessly watching me fall apart, piece-by-piece.

His hands held my waist, but they glided up my sides to the inside of my jacket, which he effortlessly pushed off my shoulders. I let go of him just long enough to shirk out of it, only to reach for his face again, slipping my fingers into his hair to secure him to me. Firm hands cupped my ass, giving it a squeeze over the outside of my jeans, tongues danced, swirled, tasted as I loomed over him, and finally, I grasped the bottom of his T-shirt.

"Skin," I whispered against his lips. "I need to feel your skin. Now."

He switched to speak to me telepathically. His lilting voice was like velvet-covered steel. “You are playing with fire. Can you take the heat?”

Chapter 5 - To Have and to Hold

He smirked at me sexily as he licked his lips, his tongue dancing across his lower lip. He pulling back just enough to grasp the thin material that hugged his skin like a glove and wrenched it over his head. Before I could fall back into him, he reached for the hem of my own shirt, gathering it up and tugging it off. My hair spilled over my shoulders in a disheveled mess as my mind mapped out a plan of attack.

Wrapping my shield around him securely, I pushed at him until he fell back with his head at the foot of the bed. I held him immobile until I had safely clamored on top of him, straddling his hips with my thighs.

“Now who’s playing with fire?” I draped my body over him, running my nose over the curve of his cheek to drift over the shell of his ear. “Maybe I’ll show you instead.”

His blue eyes narrowed and his voice slipped into my mind. "Let me go, vackra. It is not wise in your state."

His mental words brought me back to reality. Of course. I was a young vampire, unpredictable and lead only by instinct. With Kian missing, it wasn't safe for me to immobilize him, even as tempting as it was to have him at my mercy. I pulled back the shield and his fingers meticulously began working at the clasp of my bra to quickly remove it, smiling as my breasts spilled free. After lavishing a slow, sensual kiss to first one nipple and then the next, he went to work on the button and zipper of my jeans. He loosened them just enough so his rough hands could slip into the back to grip my ass firmly, grinding me down over his hard cock.

The sounds of our ragged breathing filled the room. I could only focus on the man beneath me, the satin of his skin, the hardness of his muscles and the grace of his flexing biceps. Wrapping my hand around the latter, I grasped against the firm, tight bulges, pinning him to the bed.

My hair created a curtain around us. Stefan stayed quiet and let me have this moment. He could hear every thought I was having, and most were almost obscene in nature. He cracked a quick smile, his fingers delving deeper into my jeans to find out just how desperate I was to reconnect.

"Josephine," he whispered, locking gazes with me. I'm sure our eyes matched, black to black. "So wet…for me?"

I couldn't answer him aloud. Most likely if I’d tried, it would've come out as a string of nonsensical words, not making a bit of sense to either of us. Driven by desire and the growing need swirling in the pit of my stomach, it was easier to let my mind guide him because more than the physical desire, my heart yearned to be joined with him in every way. As he read my mind, my jeans shredded beneath his hands and my panties were destroyed, all while I sat astride him.

"Come here," he whispered, guiding me up his torso until my knees were planted on either side of his head. As I stared down at him, I almost came undone at the love and lust that had darkened his handsome face. "I love you, min hjarta. Let me take care of you now."

His mouth met my heated pussy without warning, his tongue, lips and teeth all working to bring my frantic feelings down a notch or two. My head collapsed against my back as Stefan worked thoroughly and rapidly to bring me to the peak of ecstasy. He let me ride his face, grip his hair and cry out his name. My wanton enthusiasm earned me the most glorious of growls against my pussy, inciting me further.

He let me take and that was exactly what I needed. His hands gripped, his mouth kissed and his lips suckled until I thought I'd go mad. My insides wound tighter and tighter until my thighs were practically vibrating around his head. When the coil finally snapped, his name fell from my lips in a wild shriek.

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