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Fuck.
Not only did I screw up by crossing a very clear boundary I have no business crossing, but now I know exactly how she tastes, how she responds to me, how she feels pressed against me. I stare down at her torn, crumpled panties on the floor. I glance over my shoulder before reaching down to grab them, and stuffing them in my pocket.
I walk to the front door, locking it behind me as I walk back to my car to grab my flashlight and do a lap around the house. I triple-check the cameras, doors, and windows outside, looking up to see her bedroom light on. I pause, half-tempted to march back into her house and up to her room to finish what I started.
It’s not that I didn’t want to take things further . . . it’s that I could taste the champagne on her lips and I could see it in her eyes. I went against my judgment and took it further than I’d planned to in the first place. But once my lips were on hers, I couldn’t talk myself out of tasting her. The way her fingers curled into to my shirt, clawing at me for more as she moaned into my mouth, had me ready to tear her in half.
“Shit,” I mutter, reaching down to adjust my cock that’s begging for release. I walk back to my car, hoping I can distract myself enough to refocus on my surveillance efforts.
It’s no use. Images of her back arching off the counter as her body quivered beneath my tongue play over and over in my brain. I’ll never be able to unsee the way her full breasts looked—framed perfectly by her black lace bra. I know enough about lingerie to know that hers was expensive. I reach into my pocket, pull out the panties I ripped from her body, and bring them to my nose to inhale. My eyes flutter closed as my head lolls back, her scent filling my nostrils. I know it’s risky and stupid as shit, but my windows are blacked out enough that nobody’s seeing in. I undo my buckle, unzipping my jeans in a frenzy as I free my cock. I’m already at full mast, a bead of precum on the tip as I fist my shaft, stroking myself as I clutch her panties to my nose.
Within minutes, I’m groaning loudly, spilling my release onto the floor of my car like a fucking sicko. Shame fills me as I grab a pile of napkins from the console and attempt to clean up. I stuff myself back into my jeans, wondering if Juliette is upstairs doing the same thing with the toy I gave her. I’d wanted to demand she go get it earlier, making her use it on herself so I could watch, but I was too overtaken by lust to let her out of my grip.
I still plan to talk to her—to finish what I wanted to tell her—which is if things are going to go further with us, I want us to be on the same page. I want her to know that this is all it ever could be with me: physical. It’s all I ever want it to be, and I don’t want her confused when this assignment is over and things between us go back to how they were before.
I may be a playboy, but I make damn sure my partners and I are on the same page from day one. I have zero interest in leading a woman on or giving her false hope that there’s even a chance at a future with me.
* * *
“I fucked up.”I stare at the TV across from the bar we’re sitting at. I can see Harvey turn slightly in his seat toward me.
“How bad?” He crooks an eyebrow at me in curiosity.
“Decently.” I bring my glass of cranberry juice to my lips and savor the tartness.
“Are you wanting to elaborate, or just wanted to get that off your chest?” He takes a sip of his beer, still staring at me.
“I kissed her.” I let my head hang forward before I finally meet his gaze.
“Juliette?” he says after a few seconds, realizing whom I’m talking about. I nod my head yes. “Yeah, I’d say that’s a decent screw-up. I mean, nothing too bad—not like you got her pregnant like Luka did with Harper, our best friend’s little sister. That’s the kind of screw-up that almost made him dickless.”
I laugh, remembering the insane drama that went down when Jimmy not only found out that Luka had been sleeping with his sister when he was hired to protect her from her ex, but also got her pregnant. For a minute, I think we all thought that was going to be the end of Four Forces, but they ended up in love.
“Yeah, I guess so, but still, I feel bad. She’s vulnerable right now and we both know my track record with women. Plus, as you know, she has a kid.”
“Am I missing something? Did you also propose to her when you kissed her?”
“No, but still, I promised Jimmy I wouldn’t cross any boundaries. I actually laughed when he told me not to, because I thought it was so ridiculous. She’s not exactly the type of woman I go for, and I’m far from the finance powerhouses she goes for.”
“Oh, you mean a sophisticated knock-you-on-your-ass smoke show of a woman with multiple degrees and an extremely sought-after job? That’s notyourtype?” Harvey laughs, slapping me on the back. He’s clearly making fun of me. “Look, we both know you’ve got looks, height, muscles, and that Special Forces title like the rest of us, which opens a lot of legs, but come on, she’s out of even your league, buddy.”
“Abso-fucking-lutely she is. That’s my point. I tend to go for low-hanging fruit—the kind that only wants to ride my dick and then move on to the next. I think the only reason Juliette is in any way attracted to me is because I’m exactly what she’s not supposed to want, and she knows it.”
“So then why do you care? If it’s just a kiss or whatever so she can get her rocks off with a commitment-phobe like you, then that’s perfect.” He shrugs, putting his beer on the bar top.
“Yeah, maybe you’re right. I guess I feel guilty because I’m worried I’m taking advantage of her trust in me because of her situation. She’s known who I am for the last two years and hasn’t even asked about me, so it’s not like she’s always had a thing for me and now has an opportunity.”
“Maybe it’s just a matter of actual opportunity, though.”
“True.” I rub my beard, realizing I haven’t shaved in days. “I guess the real issue is I wanted to tell her all of that, but she didn’t give me the chance after I fi—” I stop myself, taking a drink of my juice instead.
“Finished? As in more than a kiss?” Harvey laughs.
“Yeah, more than a kiss.” I nod my head, my teeth clenching at the thought of tasting her again. “Anyway, she got pissed and thought I was telling her it was a mistake or something, then she threw me out right after.”
“You know, for being a guy who gets a lot of pussy, you have zero game.”
“We both know I’ve got twice as much game as you. Don’t make me take someone home just to prove it.”
