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“You what?”
“I want Alex to be my dad. He listens to me, he knows cool things, and he lets me help him with projects. Plus he makes you happy.”
I choke back tears. I had no idea Chloe was watching us so closely. I guess I also didn’t realize the impact Alex’s presence had on her. He did listen to her. He would talk to her about her books, school, whatever. And while I know she loves talking to me about everything, I think having a second set of ears around made it even better for her.
“He does make me happy. But what if there were a way to have both Alex and your dad in your life? Would you be interested in that?”
“Is dad still sick?”
When Caleb started missing appointments and failing to show up—eventually not showing up at all—I had told Chloe that it was because he was sick. It wasn’t a lie, since thatiswhy he failed her as a father. His addiction took control of his life and he couldn’t seem to find his way out of it. I knew she was too young to fully understand addiction, but she could understand that he was sick.
“Yes and no. He’s a lot better now. He has a job here in New York, actually, and he’s been healthy for over a year. He’s always going to struggle with his sickness, but he can also be better and be in your life, but only if that’s something you’re interested in.”
“Okay.”
“Chlo, look at me.” I cup her little cheeks in the palms of my hands. “I want you to know that if anything happens and for some reason your dad gets sick again and he starts acting like he used to—missing dates and not showing up—it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you, and we can go right back to how things were before.”
She nods. “Okay, sounds good. But I still get to see Alex, right?”
“Right.” I smile, pulling her back in my arms as I hope and pray that he and I can work things out enough to at least be friends.
I know I love him, but I need his help and support with things regarding Caleb. I need to know why he’s so scared. Why he always runs.
“Tell him you’re sorry and then you guys can have a baby. I’m tired of being an only child.”
“Okay, well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” I laugh as I tickle her.
“Hey, can I have Zara over later? I want to show her my telescope.”
“That sounds like a great idea.”
* * *
I stare downat the name of Caleb’s sponsor on my phone, hesitating before I hit the CALL button.
“Hello?” a man’s voice answers after only one ring.
“Hi, Tony, this is Juliette Pierce, Caleb Hanson’s ex-wife.”
“Oh, hi, Juliette. How are you?”
“I’m good. Caleb dropped by my house unexpectedly last night, and we talked a little about him getting involved again in our daughter’s life. He gave me your number to call you. I hope that’s okay?”
“Yeah, of course.” The man’s voice is warm, peppered with a slight Boston accent. “What can I do for you?”
“Well, I guess I’m just looking for some insight from you on whether it’s a good idea or not to have him back in our lives. I know that sounds awful.”
“Not at all. Look, I’ve been doing this for two decades, so I completely understand the pain and upheaval an addiction can cause in a family. You want to protect yourself and your daughter. I’ve been working with Caleb for about three years now. He was a completely different man when he came to me. He would get clean for a few months—hell, almost a year once—then fall off the wagon. I think part of it was he still surrounded himself with old habits and influences, but he also didn’t have the motivation to get clean.”
“What changed?”
“I’m not sure, but it was like he woke up one day and realized that was the only thing holding himself back from being a father. He’s always managed to stay successful in business, but I think the fact that he willingly walked away from you and your daughter just drove him deeper into addiction.”
I take a deep breath. “Do you think it’s a good idea to allow him to spend some time with her? Supervised, of course.”
“I think that’s something you’ll need to decide for yourself, but I can say that I think this time is different for him. The fact that he moved away from his world here and has stayed clean for over a year now is a massive accomplishment.”
“Can we stay in contact if you feel like you see things changing for him—like if things start taking a turn for the worse? If he approves it, of course.”
