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But it was that fucking dress.
I could practically feel the fabric under my hands as I held onto her hips and pulled her against my chest. I just know her tits would pillow against me in the perfect fucking way.
But I’m an asshole and she hates me now. She’s right to hate me.
I hurt her. She might not realize it, but I did it for her. I hated every moment of it, and I didn’t mean a fucking word I said. I’ve never meant them.
It had been getting harder for me to stay away from her and not take her into my arms or kiss her. It’s not even like we were spending a lot of time together, but every time I was around her, the pull between us was threatening to take me to my knees. I had to do something.
I just chose to do the most asshole thing I could think of, and I knew my ‘friends’ would rise to the occasion. They always do. Especially Vic who was getting increasingly territorial and possessive of me.
Which was ridiculous because I never promised Vic a damn thing and it’s been almost a year since I fucked her. I can’t look at another woman now. Evelyn has wormed her way into my mind.
It’s not right, for a lot of reasons, but I can’t help it. I know how I feel and while I might feel like I need to push her away, I won’t betray her. I can’t do it.
I stumble through the house, curling my lip when I see the mess of beer bottles, cans, discarded cups, and empty alcohol bottles along with people passed out here and there. I see Vic’s naked ass on the couch where she’s straddling some dude. I step over someone’s puke near the foyer.
It’s a fucking mess in this house and I’m glad I’m not the one responsible for cleaning it up. No fucking thank you.
Once I get to my truck, the one I tried to talk Jerry out of getting for me a few weeks ago, I take a moment and rest back against the headrest. Before I get home, I stop at a gas station and grab a bottle of water and the biggest fucking bottle of Gatorade I can find.
It’s almost noon when I get home. When I walk inside and find Mom and Jerry sitting at the large island in the kitchen, I know something is wrong by the looks on their faces. I’m instantly on alert and pull my phone out of my pocket, making sure I don’t have any missed calls or texts. I don’t, but with every moment that passes, my worry grows.
My voice is gruff, “What’s going on? What’s wrong?”
I’m looking at Mom, but it’s Jerry who answers me. “Nothing’s wrong. Not really. It’s a good thing,” he glances at Mom, “I think. Or it’s what is supposed to happen.”
I’ve never wanted to grab the man by his collar and punch him more than I do in this moment. I want to make him stop rambling and spit it out. What is he even talking about?
“Then why are you sitting here and looking like someone died?” I growl my question and Mom shoots me a look, like I shouldn’t be so harsh or something.
What she doesn’t understand is that my head is still pounding and I’m starving. I need to know what the fuck is going on because I have a feeling of dread in my gut which only happens when it involves Evelyn.
“Evie left today to move to New York. She’ll be working this summer and settling into her apartment before she starts classes in the fall,” Jerry says the words like he’s telling me it’s supposed to rain today and not like he just dropped a fucking bomb into the middle of my world.
My jaw is clenched so tight that I wonder if I’m going to crack a tooth, “What the fuck do you mean she left today to go to New York? What fucking apartment?” My voice gets louder with each word, “She’s fucking gone? She’s starting school in the fall? In New York? New fucking York?”
“Bennett,” mom admonishes, “watch your language.”
I glare at her. I don’t know if I would have ever gotten my head out of my ass about Evelyn and done something about how much I wanted her. Still, if it weren’t for my mom then I wouldn’t have been forced into the fucked-up role of being her brother.
Stepbrother.
It doesn’t fucking matter now because she’s on her way to the other side of the damn country.
As much as I want to scream and yell at the people in front of me, part of me knows it’s not their fault. Fuck. It’s probably my fault more than anyone else’s.
I do know that I can’t stay here a moment longer. I storm out of the house, bypassing the truck and heading straight to my bike. I’ve spent a lot of time working on it this last year because I wasn’t hanging out with my friends and Evelyn was doing everything she could to avoid being at home.
With me.
Where she fucking belonged.
Because I was an asshole.
Now she’s gone.
I tear out of the driveway without a destination in mind. All I can think about is the way she smiled at me that night, the last time she was in the same room as me. Even though I said something hateful, and untrue, she still smiled at me.
