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“Did I—” I can’t bring myself to say it aloud, but he knows what I’m asking. Did I kill their dad?
“Yeah,” Az replies, grabbing my hands and holding onto them tightly.
“Can you have them come here?” I ask, worried about the repercussions of what I’ve done.
“Kat, you should probably rest,” Ash says gently as he runs his fingers through my hair.
“No, I want to talk to them now.” My tone is desperate now. I need to see my children.
They share a look before Benji says, “I’ll get them.” He exits the room, and I sit on the bed trying to calm my nerves.
“Ava is a lycan,” I tell them.
“We know,” Az says. “She’ll always have a place in our pack if she chooses.” I knew they’d say that, but my body relaxes with his reassurance.
A minute later, Ava and Ezra walk into the room. I hold my breath, my body filling up with nerves. I don’t know what to expect. I don’t know if they’ll hate me for what I’ve done to their father.
Az, Ash, Benji, and Tyler back out of the room, leaving us alone. Ezra has dark circles around his eyes like he’s barely slept. Ava looks even worse. Her eyes are red like she hasn’t slept.
“So . . .” Ezra starts. “Is Dad gone?” My heartbeat thrums wildly inside my chest.
“Yeah . . .” I say, slowly watching their reactions.
“Now I don’t have to fear him trying to capture me and taking me with him,” Ava says with relief and a tear in her eye.
“And I don’t have to worry about him coming back for you, Mom,” Ezra says.
“I’m so sorry,” I tell them. My head hangs low.
“I know, Mom,” Ava replies as she sobs.
“Ava—” I want to apologize, to say something, anything, but she cuts me off.
“Not today, Mom,” she says sadly as she walks out of the room.
Chapter thirty-five
Kat
It’sbeenonemonthsince we lost Ryder, Bryson, Zay, and Cash. My ex-husband is dead, my best friend, Jess, is dead. I’ve killed so many supernaturals, I don’t want to see death anymore. I deserve my happiness along with my mates and kids.
The days following the events have been used for healing. Every time Theo comes to mind, I can’t believe he was a lycan and he was always such a threat to me and the kids.
Ezra is coping. He says playing video games helps him deal with the duress he experienced. I also have him in therapy. My kids have been through a lot, and I want them to have a safe place to let their feelings out. Ezra is doing much better and is finally sleeping through the night.
Ava is a different story, she misses her men and avoids anyone who tries to talk to her. She spends most of her time alone. She eats and showers only because I make her. She’s a shell of her former self. My mates don’t try to convince me she’ll be okay because that would be a lie. We’re hoping that she’ll survive the loss of her mates, but as of now, it’s not looking so good. All I have is hope that it will get easier for her over time.
I found out that my kind has died, and my kids and I are the only ones left, but my kids don’t have my powers, so that just leaves me.
As soon as I managed to get out of bed, which was an hour after I woke banged up from the fight, my mates and I went to each of the parents’ houses of Ryder, Bryson, Zay, and Cash. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, to tell their families that their kids are gone. Their cries, their anguish, their pain was difficult and raw. I mourned right along with them. I told them if they never wanted to see my face that I’d understand, but even though they all forgave me, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for not bringing them back.
I hope the guys are truly dead because if they aren’t, I can’t imagine what they’d be going through. I hate that there’s no way for me to open the portal back up. The book was left on the other side. I hoped Silas would show up and help me find a way to retrieve it, but he hasn’t yet. Silas shows up when he wants to.
My mates have taken the loss of the kids hard too. They were under their care, even if the kids weren’t supposed to be there. It was our responsibility to ensure their safety, and we failed.
I know what my powers are and what I am now. I see why Jess had to hide who I was. I was chosen to keep the portal from opening, yet I opened it and let four of those black shadows in along with who knows how many lycans. There is no way to know what exactly escaped until they decide to show their faces. Whatever else came through will surely bring death, I’m sure of it. It’s just a matter of time before they try to take over.
After news spread that the council had been dismantled, we’ve had alphas from other packs come to show their loyalty to us. I’m as uncomfortable as Az looks when they bend at the knee and swear allegiance to us. I never thought of myself as a leader, but I’m learning what makes a good one from a bad one.
