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I don't know what to say to that. It's too early to say I love her--but I'm totally confident that Ido.
"Don't worry about it, Birdie," I say. "It's probably just a little baby fever. It happens. We'll get over it."
I don't know what I'm saying or where I'm going with this. I feel like I'm floating, like I'm being pulled in a million different directions at once. I can't think about this right now. All I can think about is how soft her skin feels, how sweet her lips taste, how her tits feel in my hands.
How good she feels, tightly wrapped around my cock as I come, her head thrown back in pleasure.
"So...this isn't going to happen again, is it?" I ask, already knowing the answer.
"No," she says. "I don't think it will."
Chapter nine
Birdie
I'mbackinthecity a week later, trying desperately to forget about Johnny.
I spent some time with him, did a few interviews, wrote my story...and I should be able to put him behind me.Shouldis the operative word here, though, because I can't seem to stop thinking about him.
Every night, I go to sleep dreaming about the way he fucked me, the way he held me.
I wake up wishing he was in bed with me.
And I keep seeing that roguish charm everywhere I go, hoping I'll get a glimpse of him.
The hockey season is right around the corner, and I know Johnny will be back in Portland soon.
I've already communicated with most of the team, setting up interviews for when they come back. But I just can't bring myself to talk to Johnny again.
I'm scared that if I talk to him again, I'll fall for him.
I'm scared that if I fall for Johnny, my whole career will come crashing down.
As a woman in sports journalism, it's never easy to prove to people that you're capable...and getting together with one of your research subjects issocliché.
I can't do that to my career, especially when I'm just starting out.
But on the other hand...
The thought of not talking to him again makes me feel sick to my stomach.
That man has a hold on me, and I have to figure out a way to shake it.
And it makes me feel even worse that I'm not sure I even want to shake it.
***
I go to the first game of the season alone.
The Portland Pucks are playing the Vancouver Devils, and there's a lot of buzz about recruiters showing up to watch Johnny play. I keep seeing his name pop up in the news--with plenty of references to my story--and every time, it's like a punch in the gut.
But when I get the assignment to go and cover the first game, how can I refuse?
I'm the paper's resident expert on Johnny Playfair.
You don't just say no.
So I get bundled up and head to the rink on a beautiful fall day, my hands in my pockets as I make my way to the press box.
