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I wanted to talk about this...but not right now. His eyes say it all, though.
"I mean, we're not even together," I say quickly.
"Isn't it about how long it takes to get to know a person?" he asks. "You're getting to know me. And I know you. I know that you're a good person. I know that I never want anyone else."
"That's a tall order," I murmur.
"And it's something I'm confident in," he says. "You're worth it, Birdie. Every second."
I lick my lips and look out the window. "I just haven't been on the dating market for a while."
"Give me a chance," he says. "That's all I'm asking."
I suck in a breath, feeling my jaw drop.
"Really?" I breathe. "A chance?"
"I'm not asking you to marry me," he says. "It's a lot to throw at you all at once, and if you've got better things to do with your time--"
"What the fuck?" I laugh. "No...I mean, I don't...I'm just trying to wrap my head around this. I mean...are you serious?"
He just nods and keeps driving. "Dead serious, baby."
"Okay, then," I say, straightening up in my seat. "I believe you."
He lets out a shuddering exhale. "Thank God."
I realize that there's something important in this silly conversation. That he's trying to tell me something, that he's beingopen.
He promised to stay for me, if I wanted him to.
And now I'm wondering if I should ask after all.
We don't say much else about it as we make the rest of the drive up to Fern Hollow, making small talk about the hockey season and his prospects in the major leagues. I start to wonder if maybe there's a place I would be willing to move...and it occurs to me that I've lived all over.
I don't think it would be so bad.
Living with Johnny.
Being his wife.
Having his baby...and then a few more.
Because Ireallylike fucking Johnny Playfair...and I don't want to stop.
Maybe ever.
We pull up to the house around a quarter to six, when we're supposed to meet with Jake and Sarah for dinner. I can see the shapes of my family in the window, Jake holding his baby daughter in his arms, and Johnny reaches over and squeezes my knee.
"Hey..." he says. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable back there. I just...I'm a man who's used to speaking my mind."
"I guess I'll have to get used to that," I say.
"Don't get me wrong--it's not that I'm not going to try to respect your boundaries," he says. "But you and I...it's different, now. I'm not about to play any games with you, Birdie. I just...I want to be with you. It's that simple."
"I...I want to be with you too," I say. "But there's no way for us to know if that's the case just yet."
"Maybe," he says, "but at the end of the day, I don't care if you just fuck me until my dick falls off. That's what it's for, right?"
