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This isn’t real. This isn’t happening. Only it is. Because I’ve checked more times than I count. And it is happening.
It’s fucking real.
I get up from my desk chair and pace the room again, gnawing on my bottom lip until it stings and the sharp tang of metal pokes at my tongue.
Now that I know, I can’t un-know it. I can’t pretend that everything’s fine. That I’m not sitting on a bomb that has the strength to rip this entire estate apart.
To rip Dax apart.
I drop my head forward, nausea crawling up from my stomach. I’ve been sick twice already, there’s nothing left to come up. I’m just grateful that Dax was out of his office earlier and never noticed me going to the restroom twice in a short time period to freshen up. The first time I never even made it that far. The potted plant from the hallway is now enjoying its new home in the composter around the back of the main house.
Fuck.
I drag in a shaky breath as I hug myself. What will Dax do? This will hurt him. I know it will. I’m already anticipating his pain when I tell him. And it’s suffocating me. This could destroy him. He’s the most amazing, kind person beneath the fiery exterior he can show.
What happens to a person when they find out something like this?
I’ve spent all day reading and re-reading the documents I found in that last box in my office. But the bank statements and letters in the attic of the main house cemented it to me. I wish it weren’t true. Sitting in the dark, on the old, rough wooden boards of the attic, I wished with every part of myself, that it isn’t true. Families have secrets. And the Silvers are no exception.
But now, because of me, a secret that has been hidden away in forgotten boxes, pieces scattered about like a jigsaw, is about to come to light.
I could have left it there. Hidden. Forgotten. But I couldn’t live with myself knowing what I know and lying to Dax every day. I couldn’t have looked into his eyes and pretended. I couldn’t have promised him every sunrise.
He should have been told a long time ago. Years ago. And right now I hate his grandparents. Because they hid this. They covered it up. Paid for secrets to be kept.
They should be the ones who have to live with the look in Dax’s eyes when he finds out. Live with that pain.
Not me.
My stomach lurches again, and I dart my tongue out to wet my dry lips.
I’ll tell him after work. Show him everything I found.
And pray that I haven’t made the biggest mistake by telling a secret that isn’t mine.
“I’ll be back as soon as I can.” Dax wraps me in his arms, and I bury my face into his chest, nodding silently.
I meant to tell him already. But he ended up on a call and worked late. Then he came down to the cottage to find me, with only a few minutes to spend together before he goes out to whatever it is he has to do tonight.
I’ve tried to stop wondering where he goes. He says it’s better that way. That he’s fine, and that I don’t need to worry.
But I do anyway.
And my worry has multiplied by a billion with each passing second of today, thinking about telling him tonight.
“Do you have to go now? I’ve barely seen you all day.”
His grip on me tightens. I don’t care if I sound needy. I wish tonight, of all nights, he didn’t have to leave.
“I’ll be as quick as I can. But Rose”—he pulls back and tilts my chin up with two fingers beneath my chin—“I’ll be thinking of you the entire time. Thinking about coming back to you. About waking up next to you tomorrow.”
I nod.
Dax curls his hand around the back of my neck, his thumb stroking over my pulse, and I lean into him on instinct.
“Time is about to reset, Sunbeam.” He smiles softly at me. “Tomorrow is a new beginning. No more leaving you at night. No more being stuck in the past. No more being held back.” He pulls me to him and presses his lips against mine. “Infinity.”
“Every sunrise,” I whisper back before I sink into his kiss.
