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The pathetic loser in me jumps up from the bed as my heart lifts.
It could be him.
He could be here to take back what he said. To explain everything. To… Fuck, I don’t know what he could say to make any of it better, but just the thought of seeing him is enough to get me to leave my room.
He didn’t fight for me. He said we were an illusion. A trick of the light.
But I saw in his eyes he was lying.
Has he come to fight now?
I know I told him once that love was just dopamine. But I stopped believing that a long time ago. Dax made me change my mind about a lot of things.
He changed me.
I rush downstairs and into the kitchen.
But it’s not Dax hovering by the table.
“What’s she doing here?” I turn to Mom, my pulse rocketing.
“You two need to talk. It’s time.”
I glare at Mom and then bring my eyes back to Casey, who’s looking at me with tears pooling along her lower lids.
“It’s so good to see you, Ro.”
I clamp my mouth shut, my teeth grinding together.
Breathe, Sunbeam. Breathe.
I shake my head, trying to get his voice out of it. He always knew how to calm me.
Well, fuck you, Dax Silver, because you aren’t here now, are you? Where are you when I need you?
I take a deep breath, concentrating on the sound of it passing up through my nose and filling my chest. And I take in the scent of Casey’s familiar perfume, the same one she’s worn for years. It immediately transports me to my twenty-first birthday with her, singing and dancing all night at the party Mom and Dad threw for me at Vienna’s restaurant.
That was such a happy day.
“Why don’t you girls go and sit on the porch? It’s a beautiful day outside.” Mom nods gently at me. “Go on, Rose. You need the fresh air. You haven’t left your room since you came home.”
I turn back to Casey who’s holding her breath, her bottom lip pulled into her mouth as she looks at me.
“Fine. You first,” I say to Casey.
I frown at Mom before following Casey out to the front porch. This used to be one of our favorite places to sit together, talking about school and boys, and putting the world to rights.
Back when we were both younger… and naïve. Before lies tore us apart.
She sits in her usual spot on the long wicker sofa, but I slump into the chair, as far away from her as possible instead of sitting next to her like I always used to.
Her shoulders droop and she looks at her hands in her lap. “What’s it like being back?”
“Shit,” I answer without missing a beat.
Her lips curl down. “I’m sorry about what happened. Your mom told me. It sounded like things were going well last time we spoke. You… sounded happy there.” Casey lifts her eyes to mine, and I look away as my heart constricts painfully.
“I was… while it lasted.”
