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“Find an extra fifteen million?” Chloe suggests.
“Oh yeah. I’ll just dig around the back of the couch. Get it in no time. Has he left yet?”
“No.”
I’m tempted to look and see what’s taking him so long, but the thought of seeing his face again is too hard. How can I look at him and not race across the street? Not run to him and beg him not to do it? Not to marry Gabrielle? Not to save his family business? How can I do that? After years of hating him and being so hurtful, how can I turn around and tell him to do something that will cause him pain?
I can’t.
“Do you think Eve will give you another piece in the next issue? You’ve done Logan’s story and Nate’s interview now. You’re on a roll.”
I shrug as Chloe glances at me. But she quickly looks back out of the window again. Whatever Logan’s doing must be interesting.
“I don’t know. I hope so. The second interview at dinner the other night meant I was able to ask him some more personal questions in addition to the ones I asked at the hotel.”
I chew on my bottom lip. Logan turned up in both places with Gabrielle when I was interviewing Nate. It’s the universes fucked up way of making sure I saw him with Gabrielle and saw how perfect they could be together. Made sure that I do what’s right for him now.
Nate called and asked for a second interview over dinner because he felt bad about cutting the first short. The thought that I used to lust over his voice seems ludicrous now. But maybe Logan needed to see me with Nate to make him give up on us. I didn’t fight hard to correct him when he thought we were on a date.
But then he came to my place and said he would erase any other kisses I’d ever had with his own.
I throw back the rest of my wine before I can get lost in self-pity at how messed up everything is. When I hated him, everything was simpler.
“You’re safe now. He’s gone.” Chloe finally breaks her gaze from the street and looks at me cradling my empty wine glass in one hand and my phone in the other. “How is that any different than looking at the real thing?” she asks, her brow creasing as she looks at the screen and the picture of Logan and his dad that’s on the news page I’ve brought up.
Shit. I didn’t even realize what I was doing.
“I…” I look at the screen, reading the headline about their business and how it’s rumored to be on the brink of collapse. My eyes blur and sickness coils in my stomach. I quickly bring up an image of Gabrielle from her LinkedIn profile and turn the screen toward Chloe.
“That’s her?”
“Yeah.”
“She’s beautiful.”
“Yeah.”
“And thin.”
I snort. “I know.”
“But he told you he doesn’t love her.” Chloe sighs. “Fuck, girl. Why are you doing this to yourself?”
“I have to. I’ve spent so many years hating him and wishing he’d drop off the planet and leave me alone. I’ve been awful to him. And it wasn’t even his fault.”
“So… what? You punishing yourself is penance?”
“No.” I close the browser and drop my phone into my purse. “He deserves better than someone who has unfairly blamed him. You get that, don’t you?”
Chloe smiles at me sadly. “I get that you think that. But I don’t agree.” She lifts her shoulders when I shake my head at her. “I’m sorry, but I don’t. I think you need to listen to what Logan wants.”
“He’ll lose everything,” I whisper.
“Maybe he doesn’t see it like that.”
“I’ve never done anything good for him. Not once.” My gut coils at the thought of the article on my laptop. “Not a single thing.”
“You know what you need to do?”
