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My curiosity got the better of me, and I leaned in closer to listen.
“I’m sorry, Rae.” That was Caelia’s voice. I held my breath, wondering what she’d say next. “I didn’t realize how selfish I was because, in my mind, I was doing what everyone in my family wanted me to do.”
Raenisa’s voice came to me then, her tone was as tortured as it’d been on the day of the battle. “You should’ve thought of that before you tried to kill my friend.”
My heart swelled hearing Raenisa defend me, even though I knew she was in pain.
Caelia continued in a softer voice. “I know, and I understand why you hate me. I should’ve made my own choices. Done something. I don’t know.” She paused, and I leaned forward, my nose almost touching the canvas as I strained to hear what she said. “My grandfather told me since I was a baby that it was my duty to restore the family honor and take the empire. He gave me the nickname ‘The Young Bear,’ because of how much I resembled him in spirit... That was his goal for me. That was how I was raised. Every step toward the throne.”
Raenisa remained silent, and Caelia seemed to take that as her cue to keep talking. “I guess I never stopped to consider what would happen if I failed or how I’d have to hurt those who stood in my way. All I could think about was my ambition, how once I was the emperor’s heir, then I’d finally be finished.”
Her voice cracked at the end of her words, but she quickly regained her composure and continued speaking. “But now, after all these years spent striving for a title that will never be mine—“ She shook her head. “I realized what a fool I’d been all along. It would’ve never been over. I’d have been locked in a prison of my making because I wanted to fulfill other people’s dreams... instead of my own.”
Raenisa’s voice was gentle now. “What do you want to do, Cae?”
Caelia took a deep breath before continuing. “I don’t know. To take care of my estate? With the woman I love by my side—to teach my future nieces and nephews how to brawl and sneak biscuits from the cook.” She laughed softly. “I don’t want to be an heir or have any heirs of my own... I just want to live each day in happiness with people I love.” A rueful laugh escaped her. “Not that I have an estate anymore. Theron’s probably gifted it to one of my generals by now.”
Raenisa hesitated before answering. “No, he hasn’t promised the land to anyone yet. He doesn’t need to use gifts to buy followers. They believe in the same dream that he does—no more endless wars.” She paused before continuing. “You’re not alone in wanting something different from what everyone else chose for you. Theron took a different path. You can too.”
The sound of rattling chains drifted to me. “Choices aren’t really an option for me right now.” Caelia sighed heavily and said, “Just one more reason to envy him.”
“You’re jealous of Theron?”
Caelia snorted.“Of course. He has your loyalty. Has had you by his side for years.”
Raenisa blew out a breath. “You could’ve had it too, but you chose the crown instead.”
“Rae…”
Footsteps approached, and I pushed inside the tent before they caught me spying. As I entered, I found the Sarro siblings all in varying states of disarray. Xavier must be held somewhere else. Xadrian slumped against the tent post while Aracel lay beside him, her wild black and red tresses cascading around her sleeping face. Caelia, however, was awake, her short dark hair tangled and her clothes still filthy with gore. How much of that blood was mine?
Raenisa turned to me with a warm smile, distracting me from Caelia’s blank stare. “Kael! You’re up. How are you? How’re you feeling?”
“Doing good.” I lifted my shirt to show her my stomach so she could inspect the tender scar. Caelia stared at it, and her mouth firmed into a flat line. “It’s healing well and should be fine by the time we reach the capital. I’ll be on a vanira most of the time, so that should help, too.”
Raenisa nodded her head in agreement. “I’m glad you’re up and about. Hopefully, Theron will finally get off his ass instead of just staying at your bedside all day. Then I can get some fucking sleep.”
“Oh, shut up,” I laughed. “We both know you love being in charge.”
She chuckled, her smile bright, and Caelia stared at her as if trying to memorize her face. “But seriously, I’m glad you’re better. I’m sorry that I didn’t protect you.” I glanced over at Caelia, who turned away, instead seeming to study her sleeping siblings.
I stepped forward and hugged Raenisa; no longer awkward at giving affection. She was my friend, and I loved her. “You have nothing to apologize for,” I said into her shoulder. “I’m thankful for everything that you’ve done.” I hesitated. “Including being my friend.”
“Thanks.” Raenisa smiled, ducking her chin. “But if you think that means I’ll let you steal Aella from me to replace Mirijana, you’re dead wrong. We’ve already negotiated her pay. I’ll fight for those cakes.”
I laughed, recognizing her need to lighten the tension. “Come on, you’ll be staying with us most of the time, anyway.”
Her smile fell, and she glanced over her shoulder at Caelia. “Yeah. I guess you’re right.”
Xadrian stirred and woke with a start. He scrambled to his feet, eyes widening in surprise when he saw us standing there.
“Kael! Thank Atar you’re alright.” He let out a relieved sigh. “No one would tell me how you were doing, and I was so worried…”
Raenisa’s eyes narrowed on him. “I didn’t think it’s your business howTheron’s mateis doing.”
He winced but didn’t respond to her statement. Instead, he turned back to me. “I’m so sorry. I never meant for you to get hurt.”
I believed him. I’d heard his scream as Caelia stabbed me, but that didn’t mean I could forgive him as easily. “Yeah. I know.”
