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He continued, not allowing me to minimize his behavior, his words tumbling over each other in his haste to get it all out. “No, it’s not. You told me you just wanted to be friends, and I… I let my feelings for you cloud my judgment. I thought if I could just get you to see past him and see me—“ He shook his head, his eyes as black as the night. “I was stupid. I put my desires above your wishes. It was wrong... and it hurt you.” The words hung in the air between us, his admission a bridge over the gulf that had formed. His gaze was steady, earnest. “My selfishness almost cost you your life.”
I stared at him, unsure of what to say. “You couldn’t betray your sister. I understand.”
He looked down, too ashamed to meet my eye. “That’s what I told myself initially, but it was a lie. I wanted you to chooseme. To join me, and I was using Caelia to do it.“ His eyes finally met mine, as if desperate for me to understand. “I didn’t think she’d hurt you. She said that she’d just take you captive. I’d hoped—“ He paused, his eyes going distant before he refocused on me. “It doesn’t matter what I thought. It was wrong. Even if you didn’t have a mate, it would be wrong.”
“Why are you telling me this?” I said, unsure of what direction the conversation would go next.
He leaned back against the boulder, turning his eyes to the sky. “I couldn’t stand that look of betrayal in your eyes. Knowing that I’d caused it. That you’d almost died because of my jealousy?” He shuddered. “I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness. But I hope to earn it one day.” His voice was a whisper, a soft breeze in the shouts and chaos of the archers’ volleying attacks.
“I forgive you, Xadrian,” I told him, finding that it wasn’t a lie. With everything happening, his choice to stand by Caelia’s side didn’t seem like much of a betrayal at all. “Family comes first.”
A sigh escaped his lips, and a smile tilted the corner of his mouth upward. “Friends?”
I nodded, still unsure what to say in the face of his honesty. “Yeah.”
We fell into silence, the noise of battle surrounding us like a thick fog. I couldn’t help but glance over at him now and then, wondering what he was thinking. It was strange, being this close to him after everything that had happened. It was almost as if we were strangers, getting to know each other for the first time.
“I’m sorry, too,” I said, placing a hand on his arm. The muscles there were tense, coiled like springs. “I should have told you earlier that I didn’t return your feelings.”
He nodded, his eyes black. “Thanks.”
I changed the subject, hoping to distract him from his thoughts. “How can I get past these sentries?”
The corners of his mouth turned up in a smirk. “Watch me.” Taking a deep breath, he lifted a hand, summoning a large rock and chucking it against the wall in the opposite direction. The two sentries took off in pursuit, leaving an opening for us to slip through unnoticed.
“Go.” He shouted, racing forward. He took the first sentry by surprise, his knife finding the man’s throat before he raised the alarm. I slipped behind the second man, my sword stabbing down in the opening of his armor by his neck as he shrieked.
I held my breath for a moment, waiting to see if more soldiers would come. It stayed quiet, and I exhaled, my shoulders loosening.
“I could’ve done that.”
He laughed, even if he seemed careful. Not the same insouciant man of before. “But you didn’t.”
This time I smiled. “Come on.” I motioned for Haemir and his teams to join us. He did, and a sense of comfort washed over me as he moved beside me. “Dad, take our warriors further up the mountain on the left and scout out any entrances you find. I’m going to take down those walls.”
He pulled me into a quick embrace. “Be careful, Kiddo.”
Roza stepped up next to me, Zerek trailing behind her like a shadow. “We’ll guard her,” said Roza confidently. “Don’t worry Haemir.”
He gave her a nod. “I know you will.” Haemir turned to me, his eyes searching mine. “I wish my mate and triad could have met you. They would have been so proud of you. Just like I am.”
“I love you, Dad.” I hugged him again, my heart in my throat as he squeezed me tight. It felt like a goodbye.
“Love you too, Kiddo.”
I released him, wiping the tears off my cheeks. “See you soon.”
Haemir nodded in agreement before leaving with his warriors. I took a steadying breath, pushing aside any doubt. I had to trust that he’d come through this.
I glanced over at Xadrian where he was speaking to Herrath. He and Herrath came over, joining me, Roza, and Zerek. “We’re going to have to move fast after taking this one down.” I began. “We’ll need to run fast to the next.”
“There won’t be any cover.” Zerek folded his arms, his ruddy brows drawn low. “You two will have to stay low behind us.”
Xadrian shook his head. “I’ll take care of the cover. Kael can handle the walls.”
“I’ll keep an eye on you,” Roza said, drawing her knife. “I know you can do it.”
I nodded, unable to speak for a moment as emotion clogged my throat. Orya would have loved to see us working together. Roza smiled back at me, her aquamarine eyes twinkling with understanding. I looked at each of them, promising myself that I’d protect them no matter what happened. I wouldn’t lose another friend today.
